Walking On Egg Shells

[Twinco]

My wife and I have been married for over 8 years. At first I did not realize she had PTSD from childhood, I still don't know what caused this maybe the death of her sibling when she was young, not sure. It seems every time I leave to go do something with friends she gets triggered, or any time I am out of town she gets triggered. It's been so bad lately she is hiring an attorney to get a divorce. I have done nothing but try to be supportive of her. It's just I am tired of walking on egg shells on everything I do, and would like to have a life. She has cut off all ties with my family and trust no one. I am constantly being accused of cheating on her. I am struggling because I am not sure if I even want to be with her anymore? Very Confused

 

[VioletButterfly]

Sorry - being direct here - Have you suggested counseling? I wish, so very badly, that I had insisted it in my last relationship. I feel like I threw away 16 years just because of his issues. God knows I had my own issues too. Maybe we could have worked these out in therapy and been stronger for it. Just a thought before ending your relationship. VB

 

[Twinco]

Thanks for the reply, yes we have a counseling appt next week can't get here fast enough. Hope he can help both of us understand what's going on. Don't think either of us can take it much longer.

 

[anonymous]

She needs individual counseling with a trauma therapist as well.

Sadly, most couples therapists don't know beans about trauma. They may even suggest things that while helpful to the non-ptsd situation, May make a ptsd situation worse. Been there....

 

[Twinco]

Thanks for the advice, we are both going to therapist at separate times, so hopefully He can help convince her on a trama therapist. Right now its one minute fine next minute hating me or going thru 10 years of paper work trying to figure out how I am cheating her. I think we are doing each other more harm than good staying together untill we go see the psychologist next week.

 

[Friday]

Familiar "logic" for sure... I can't stand you being gone occasionally, so I'll divorce you so that you're always gone. Sigh. Especially when I'm bad off? That's exactly the kind of thing that makes sense to me. In my head. It's partly why processing out loud, and having a neutral 3rd party to run reality checks with can be so helpful.

If you read through the forums a bit... You'll come across this rather a lot.