General Wanting To Find Some Friends For Support And Friendship!

[ProudWife99]

More hugs from me, Sherri! I feel your pain. My A wouldn't necessarily forget what he had done, but he always rationalized it. To the point where it made PERFECT sense to him that he yelled, broke stuff, and said awful things. If I was better, nicer, more understanding, etc...he wouldn't have had to resort to those measures. So I would just stay angry with him, but he would never feel sorry because he didn't feel like he did anything wrong. Pretty soon, it felt like staying angry was a waste of effort and energy.

Take care of you, Sherri! You're so important!

 

[ronnalee]

What PW said.:tup::tup::tup:

Here, here!! :):whistling:

 

[ProudWife99]

Thinking about you Sherri. Hope you're taking care of yourself and have found peace enough to rest.

 

[Tifanee]

I think the word sorry is a trigger point. For those that had trauma at the hands of someone else like your B's hit and run accident, abusers, and crimes, there isn't closure. The person that needed to apologize for their behavior, didn't apologize. So now when we do say sorry, it isn't perceived by us as good enough.

For once I would like my man to apologize for his behavior and be accountable, just like I apologize for my behavior. Even with other issues, being accountable, communicating, and showing appreciation can go a long way for a supporter in continuing their own brave battle with their loved one's PTSD.

Once your sufferer realizes they are not alone in the battle, as most of them do, it will be a “we” battle and not an “I” battle. Marriage and individual counseling, as well as continuing to journal will help with building a better bridge of love and hope.

We love them hard and this is what keeps us together, but you need to have some self-love as well. Nurture yourself, go for a massage or a pedicure, or have a good rant session on this forum. It made me giggle, so thank you for that relief

Peace,
Tifanee

 

[PTSDMama]

I'm so sorry this happened to you, Sherri! This is definitely a place where people do understand and can empathize. It's clear that you are grateful he is still with you and I'm sorry people haven't understood that you also need to complain as a way to get the feelings of this new normal out.

Welcome, may you find the help and support you need.