Sexual Assault Was I Raped? I Really Don't Know What To Think.

[Seagreen]

it sounds to me like he was deliberately trying to confuse you. It sounds like he wanted you to be unsure if he knew he was forcing you or not. Probably to protect himself from having to face any consequences. Ive been in similar situations a few times and have delt with it the same way. In that I would say no and then let it go for a moment and say no again. I think the reason for this was fear it could elevate if I tried to fight him off or be assertive. The other thing was I worried I might be making a big deal out of nothing. Still unsure if it was a communication problem or if he was forcing himself on me. You handled it really well. I can't answer your question definitely but he used his strength to over power you multiple times and then tried to minimise your complaints by telling you you wanted it or silencing you. So to me that sounds like he knew what he was doing.

 

[notsurewheretoturn]

I've been following this thread for a while, but didn't feel able to say something until I had a couple of glasses of wine in me.

Yes, I would have to say that you were raped, and not just once. He was manipulative and knew what he was doing and what he kept doing. The 'just a few more seconds' comment shows that he had no feelings or concern about what you were experiencing, feeling or saying, he was going to get what he wanted - regardless.

Only you can decide if you report it.

My biggest concern here is that he's not going to stop and that he may just be getting into his stride in terms of how he rapes. I can't say that he didn't know what he was doing. His whole attitude is one of a controller.

 

[Truthful_Whispers]

Dump him and contact a rape crisis center. He raped you.

 

[Chava]

I can't say for sure because it's murky, Sounds manipulative but, based on my own experiences of having to learn what kinds of boundaries I wanted for myself I sort of wonder what you were doing with him and why you were making out with him to begin with, and spending the night...given this comment you made about being a virgin...

He knew this and he also knew I didn't want to lose it to someone who meant nothing to me.

Sidenote: I've been raped, assaulted, and had a lot of blackout sex that I will never know how it went down. I've also said, "No sex" and later made out and let it go too far. I regretted having gone to the guy's house on the first date. To be fair it sounds like this guy took advantage of you (I'm not saying yes or no about "rape"). But don't make out with people who mean nothing to you, or ask yourself why you were doing it to begin with. Practice for someone else?

I might sound like an asshole right now. I don't mean to. I've just been all over murky land in my consensual and nonconsensual sex life. I look for context and where I do have power. And, since you're a beginner, I'd say stay away from this guy. But also create boundaries further away from making out perhaps. Or don't make out with people who mean nothing to you. Or don't go to their houses alone, or their bedrooms, etc. And if you can get out of a bad situation safely, do it.

 

[Truthful_Whispers]

Not only did he rape you, Hallie, he also sodomized you by forcing you to swallow his semen. This piece of human trash needs to go.