Sexual Assault Was I Raped? Please Help

[Gs172003]

This is why clear consent needs to be taught. No freaking gray. Too damn soul shaking.

 

[RussH]

In my mind a man will justify anything to get around a female to get what they want

I understand this is your perception, but it is not how all men are. There are men who respect women, and understand boundaries. I hope at some point you will be able to realize this.

 

[Gs172003]

I understand this is your perception, but it is not how all men are. There are men who respect women, and...

I'm working on it. My therapist said it's because that's all I've been exposed to until very. Very. Recently. It'll have to be "unlearned". Thanks.

 

[RussH]

There are a lot of guys out there that are not good enough to be called a scumbag, but there are some good guys out there as well.

 

[Gaining-clarity]

IT sounds to me like from the get go this guy was after one thing and he didn't care whether or not you said yes or no. If you had clearly said no at the beginning he would have done the same thing that he did later on when you did clearly say no. He raped you. Whether or not the police would call it rape is besides the point for me. His mindset was that of a rapist from the beginning. He preyed upon you. You were vulnerable, and he took advantage of that. You were raped.

.

 

[Jules1]

In December 2015, there was this boy I met at Macy's. I knew he thought I was cute and he invited me ov...

Hi. Yes that is rape. He is a predator taking advantage of your blindspots. You may have learned helplessness from some previous situation??? Are you having therapy for PTSD? and if so have you had help with your boundaries. It is very common to lose your voice or freeze with PTSD so what you have experienced is no shame ... its a normal part of the PTSD but you need help to understand it and how to protect yourself moving forwards in your life. Power to you.

 

[Phoenix_Rising]

Not rape. Consensual sex.

That is rape. When any party says no, at that point, anything further becomes ra...

"We were just chilling and he was all over me and I didn't want him to be, but I didn't say anything. I felt like I had to. We were about to have sex and I told him to put on a condom. He didn't listen to me. I didn't say anything."

Actually, this is not consensual sex, and is rape--she asked him to put on a condom, and he ignored her. The fact she didn't repeat herself isn't really any different than saying "no" only once. Consent was given if he put on a condom, but he didn't. Particularly given this guy ignored "no" repeatedly the third time around, it's pretty likely he was just doing whatever he wanted regardless of what she said. The consent was conditional: you wear a condom, I will have sex with you (based on OP's description). No condom, no consent.

Meaning at least two of these incidents were rape (the other being when she said no). The other two, OP, there isn't enough information, but twice is twice too many regardless.

I'm really sorry this happened to you.