Weaning Off Anti-depressants And Anti Anxiety Medications. How To Deal With Arising Feelings?

[ms spock]

*continues trudging *

 

[ms spock]

I didn't write a list but I did three errands and I went to Tai Chi.

I just read last night and went to bed at 10pm I had had enough of the day.

 

[Pippi]

I have been slowly tapering off Zoloft, with my doctor's supervision, for the past two months. I just got to the point where we thought I might be able to do without it (my original dose was 75mg, so not very much, but I've been taking it for five years) and whoa, was that inaccurate. I'm now back to taking 25mg every other day for the time being, because I just cannot function while dealing with such severe withdrawal symptoms. I found another person's description of her experience while searching around for some validation earlier this evening, and I could have written it myself:

"My symptoms are: I cannot move my eyes in their sockets without becoming dizzy and hearing sounds. I can turn my head comfortably as long as I keep my eyes still all the time. This effect increases toward evening. I feel like I have bugs crawling on my legs, I am tired, irritable, angry and disoriented. When I speak, my words are turned around and I cannot remember much from one day to the next."

I shared this with a friend of mine who suffers from bipolar disorder and he said it reminded him of psychotic episodes.

I had an argument with my boyfriend today that I think was largely caused by feelings of extreme confusion and lack of short term memory on my part. I really want to get through this without hurting other people. It's a truly awful experience.

 

[SweetPeaandSunBird]

I wish you both the best.

I'm no longer on an anti-anxiety med (although I'm still on an anti-depressant) and I think I'm going to have to take the anti-anxiety med again. I can't concentrate enough to get my research done, so... I'll see my psych in two weeks.

But, Ms. Spock and Pippi, I'm really pulling for you both!

 

[just me here]

All I can do to get through this is sleep more and drink lots of water so I do and I feel like crap anyway. Today was supposed to be my last 1/8 dose and clean tomorrow but I say "lets do this thing" and I gave my bottle to my wife this morning and told her that no matter how bad it is she is supposed to tell me "it is too late, the pills are gone" if I ask for some. She will. And I probably will too but I will be glad when this is over that I didn't take another dose, I hope.

I drank 4 litres of water every day this week, plus a cup of coffee and various juiced vegetables and fruits and I am still dehydrated to the point that my hands are dry and cracked on my knuckles. I sweat on and off all day and especially at night. I just want to sit in the hot tub and close my eyes and listen to some old rock. Grateful dead, "I will get by". That sounds about right tonight.

 

[anni]

What an inspiring thread, just wanted to say Thank You. I had the SSRI conversation with a friend recently, I remembered when they first appeared were intended as short-term medications which ( they said ) merely caused your system to produce the correct amount of seratonin. These powerful medications were not supposed to be long term at that point, I'd have to guess everyone's present struggles would be due to pharmaceutical companies finding it handy to have them prescribed poorly.

Ms.Spock, I hope it's not intrusive to point out that your written communication is more complete, or at least feels more effortless ( tough to put my finger on, please excuse ) in your posts sans meds. Please know that of course there wasn't a thing 'wrong' previously, you just sound as if it's less of an effort perhaps?

Congratulations to you folks, thanks for all of this. The word does get over- used, I realize that, but it really IS inspiring. Another song for the hot tub ' It'll be alright, when the morning comes '.

 

[ms spock]

Ms.Spock, I hope it's not intrusive to point out that your written communication is more complete, or at least feels more effortless ( tough to put my finger on, please excuse ) in your posts sans meds. Please know that of course there wasn't a thing 'wrong' previously, you just sound as if it's less of an effort perhaps?

Thanks for that feedback. I didn't know that and was unaware. It could be that I have changed from a tablet where I didn't write as much to a desktop where I can type again, so that might be a factor. But it might be that I am more here.

 

[ms spock]

I am just hanging in here by the skin of my teeth. I am barely managing. So much stuff is coming up. I feel so ashamed for being who I am and where I am in my life.

Everything feels hard and difficult at the moment. I feel so angry that I have been so dissociated so much of my life due to the complex trauma.

I am really struggling. A few difficult things have occurred which haven't made things easy.

The SI came back badly on Friday. Today I decided that I have to stop letting the self hatred that has arisen from my childhood to stop chewing me up.

It is so humbling to realise the mistakes that I have made in my life and how hard it is to do the basics like eat, clean the house and think things through.

 

[just me here]

Tonight will be 4 full days and nights with no anti-anxiety drugs. I am still drinking lots of water, eating as well as I can when I can, and trying to get as much sleep and rest as I can. I have rediscovered the relief offered by a nice soak in the hot tub.

Ms. Spock, I can relate to the personal inquisition that this kind of a low brings on. Illnesses and injuries and in our case withdrawals give you time that you just can't use for normal activities and the trap of spending that time thinking about the things we should be doing and should have done is too easy to fall into. Try to find something you can do with this time and you will feel better about yourself simply because you can still be productive and you won't have the time on your hands that
you (we ) find yourself using for self criticisms.

Easier said than done. Aim high, aim low, whatever you can pull off. Just stop aiming at yourself. It makes sense but that doesn't mean it's easy. Good thoughts your way

 

[ms spock]

That is one of the things that the medication was masking was the self hatred and beating myself up. That is on the top of the list to gradually deal with.

 

[ms spock]

Just stop aiming at yourself. It makes sense but that doesn't mean it's easy. Good thoughts your way

Yes I need to do that just me here.

 

[ms spock]

I need to continually keep reframing my focus on my emotional regulation. I have to keep thinking about emotional regulation and to stop the worry from coming in. I need to keep giving back the bad feelings and the responsibility to my parents and not take on the stuff that they dumped on me. This does feel hard but I am doing better with this today. I just keep handing it back. This is good. Once I can make a habit of this I can gradually and slowly move forward.