What’s the best way to end a relationship with a fellow sufferer?

[Justmehere]

Damn it. He messaged to say he had been at a funeral yesterday. He called and I just couldn’t do it. I chatted for a very short bit. I like talking to him but it’s super clear to me this isn’t a good romantic relationship for me. I just couldn’t end it with him right after a funeral. He’s super into me, or his idea of me anyhow.

He asked me this morning to text something romantic. Now wishing I would have ended this yesterday. He knew something was off with me yesterday anyhow! I am feeling like a relationship dunce. :banghead: :oops: :bag:

How terrible would it be for me to break up via email or text? That feels terrible to me, but it might be just me. We don’t have time to talk on the phone or meet up in person within the next few days (conflicting work schedules)... and I can’t let this go on.

 

[Friday]

How terrible would it be for me to break up via email or text? That feels terrible to me, but it might be just me. We don’t have time to talk on the phone or meet up in person within the next few days (conflicting work schedules)... and I can’t let this go on.

If you were dating in person, I’d say pretty low.

Since this has all been long distance, I don’t think there’s a problem with ending it, the way it began.

 

[EveHarrington]

I’m confused....have you met him in person yet? I think if you’ve met him in person, then a phone call is the minimum.

Remember that Sex and the City episode where Berger broke up with Carrie via post it? I think email or text would be the same....as in today’s equivalent.

 

[grit]

He asked me this morning to text something romantic.

Wow!
Good luck!

Looks like he is subconsciously trying to hook you!

 

[Justmehere]

He was asking when he should buy tickets to come see in me in person for the first time. I ended it. Found a way to call, and he started to yell. I hung up. No point in that. He isn’t taking it well... sigh. I am holding boundaries and it’s all fine... but still. Not sure why this is getting to me. I’ve broken up with others before. Heck, even a handful of guys I’ve dated in person this year. It was easier. I guess it’s because I’ve been on the other side of this convo about ptsd, minus the yelling, and because we did click in many other ways. I guess this is the first time where unmanaged and untreated ptsd was THE issue.

It was the right decision, and I’m pissed it was the right decision.

 

[blackemerald1]

Oh...don't belt yourself up about it Just...! :hug:

I think he might have clocked that you had misgivings about the relationship or were not as enthused as he might expect and he pushed for something you were simply not ready for.

And you got some good evidence he doesn't take 'no' very well. Who wants to have that 'discussion' when both of you are ptsder's...well especially when one party isn't coping with their ptsd..

His loss... yelling at you is not on!

Yeah it would have been great if he'd not had the funeral. But that's his stuff/destiny..idk.