@intothelight :hug: 's.
@bhm , please don't feel shameful, just an opportunity to start over. :hug:
Aw
@Ronin , yes such good people exist, as you are proof. I think that is very beautiful, :notworthy: , that is me, the stars and the moon (and yes to the moon, tonight and always :hug: )
Feel very relieved , vet feels pup has turned the corner.
Feel sad, relative does not think of 'we' memories or decisions, only 'I' memories and past decisions. I see how she could forget (my) presence on occasion, but not always. But I think it explains part of feeling invisible. I mentioned it to her, she said nothing, to that and several things. But I know that just means down the road, she'll say she told it to a mutual friend or co-worker, and that they said, "(X!)", which will be something negative about me in response to it, according to her. So yes, I guess I feel sad, so sad I'd do almost anything to not be the scapegoat.
Resigned. I feel like if I ever will mean anything to her, it will be after I'm gone. If that.
Surprised, an old friend called me out of the blue to ask to take me out to dinner (my choice and their treat) with his family. Haven't seen him for over a year.
Grateful for pup doing better.
Grateful to the people here and all your kind words. :hug:
Was told wednesday by relative's bf not to tell her dog was ill, etc, in the future, "because she worries". Yes, I said, I worry too. But sometimes it's too serious not to say anything. Vet today said though, if we had waited by 12 hours more she would have died. So after the fact I felt supported by the Vet.
Tired, grateful, sad, alarmed, pulled in a lot of directions, more trusting in my own life, but never able to share my life with relative, either not important enough to her, or she sabotages it. Idk why. I used to think it was hatred, or pay-back. Then control. Now I wonder if it is power? I do not know. I just know it feels awful. I know it contributes to lack of safety, and much stress, and those extrapolating feelings of mistrust. But too, it's not the entire picture of her. So I do not know. So I guess, tired and confused and on edge and sad. But yet, unsure of what else to do.
