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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

Hurt by my ex-husband's behavior
Wishing I hadn't wasted 20 years of my life with him
Wishing I hadn't chosen such a horrible person to be the father of my children
Guilty that it is my fault they have an awful father because I chose to marry him 20 years ago
In disbelief that he has become such a sick monster
Horrible that I know now that it was probably going on all through our marriage and as the Queen of Denial I never saw it
Hurt that he chose his addiction over his children
Hurt that he chose his addiction over me after all I did for him
Angry over the way he tore our family apart
Frustrated by following my T's advice not to expose him and his disgusting behavior to my children, his family, workplace or the general public

Wanting to just run away from all of it
 
Been feeling in a rut and going down "memory lane" URKKKKKKK. Bad memories come back haunting. Partly because my mother is coming to her sister's place about a 2.5 hour drive from where I am and then also my biorythme is low in all levels ... URKKKKKKK ... not the kind of "memory lane" I like... too many triggers.
 
Anxious today! Barely could sit through Sunday School and being in choir didn't feel comfortable...SO hot! So I left before the preaching. Felt/feel guilty, but when I have the 'panic sweats', I CANNOT sit for 40-50 more minutes, after standing in choir for 20! I'm sure it looks strange for someone to be have sweat dripping off my jaw....

My son is either IN the air, or WAITING to be in the air on his way home from the Philippines with a layover in Bejjing!. He's been there vacationing, and met a special girl. He got them an apartment there, and he will come home (to the States) and go back in January. While he's back, he will be part of the chef team for The Transiberian Orchestra. Fifty cities in a short amount of time. His father is the main chef, and they work well together.

I'll take a nap and that will help!

Blessings and wishes for you all to have a better day than you expect!!
 

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