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What Bad Shit Have You Done - Daily, As it Comes To You, Your Past, Lets Be Honest

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Instead of just dating a cop, we both agreed mutually to keep our other parts. Him with his girlfriend (whom I know who she is and I met her) and I with my boyfriend aka room mate. It was a total agreement. *Sigh* Yes I know I have two boyfriends now. :sneaky:
 
Some of the bad things I have done are:

Self-blame for having been abused as a child
Cutting myself with razor blades
Popping pills and drinking alcohol to an alarming excess
Exposing myself to high risk sex partners
Abandoning myself and my life to the will of other people
Attempting suicide
Verbally assaulted those that I love
 
cut/burned
gave my friends boyfriend a bj..
When i was 13 maybe, stole money out of my nephews piggy bank to buy cigarettes. a lot.
Brought a older guy, stranger home (parents house) and had sex with him.
When I was 15 I told my abuser I would tell on him/what he did to me if he got me 51/50'd for being suicidal.
Did any and every drug that was put in front of me.
Got 51/50'd and then denied ever saying anything remotely suicidal and acted happy as a clam til they let me go.
...... was so depressed i guess, that rather than washing dishes i'd throw them away on my way to work..kinda embaressed about that :(
Cussed my mom out. many times.
call in sick to work atleast twice a week cause I was too high to go. (I don't know why I wasn't fired)
Was working as a one-to-one aid... i quit with 2 days notice to move in with the abuser. not very nice of me...
Cheated my way through most of elementary school to prove i was smarter than the smartest kid.
self-harm in the hospital and made up crazy stories about what had happened when i got caught. and they believed me.
from around age 7 or 8 talked sexually with older men online and took pictures for them. and sometimes met them.... :(
I think thats enough for now...
 
Stole candy, cupcakes and books (the tiny pocket sized ones) as a kid. Later I stole makeup in my teens. Before the days of camera, security tags and two way mirrors (or one way whatever). Physical fights with my sister as kids where I broke her finger one time. Several fights while in 7th & 8th grades. Then I did drink and drive a few times when I shouldn't have. reckless driving (alone) a few times.
 
I shifted between judging myself as weak, evil and to blame for everything, with expecting myself to always be the good-girl voice of reason and knowledge, insight and problem solving, ...and while taking on too great of and exaggerated responsibilities for the needs and the responsibilities of countless other people.

And, then I punished and punished and punished myself again and again if or when I thought I fell short or failed.
 
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