What Is It About Us?

[Sally sue]

Maybe this has been asked a million times before, but I'm so tired of hearing how most people (70%) who suffer a trauma don't end up with ptsd, so we are the 30% that do...why? I struggle with feeling that my trauma, my distress, all the rest are all made up in my mind and if I just tried I could snap out of it! That I'm choosing to have ptsd! Is this right? Is ptsd real? Why am one of the 30%? :( my mom used to tell me all the time that I was dramatic, being silly...is that it?

Sally sue

 

[Lotusstarr]

There is nothing wrong with you, ptsd is a normal human response. Keep in mind that the word 'trauma' encompasses a lot, if we're going by the definition of an event that is life threatening, or sexual violence. This ranges from being an adult in a bad car crash, to being a child and being sexually abused by a care giver. It just makes sense, in that case, that some traumas are easier to 'let go' than others. Having violence perpetrated on you by someone who is supposed to care for you is going to shatter your trust in the world, among other things. Being involved in some kind of accident, such as a natural disaster or car crash, while scary and devastating, would naturally be easier to come to terms with, as in these cases nobody is actively trying to hurt you. I'm not trying to discount survivors of these kinds of events, as I understand how horrific they can be, but psychologically I don't believe they affect people as much as abuse does.

 

[tillybee]

@Sally sue I don't think I can answer your question but I just had to reply! The dramatic your mum said you were, my mum was the same!!! I am a 'highly strung drama queen' was the exact term used.

So it's nice to meet you! :)

I hope someone with a bit more knowledge can shed light on your answer it would be interesting to know.

 

[onesie]

Ya. Um I'm a drama queen too. Just ask my family. It depends on your mind. Your self esteem. Your upbringing. Some trauma isn't easy. Doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you. Those people that judge, they have no idea the intensity that comes with ptsd. You on the other hand do. We survivors do. It's just how things workout. Just means were really strong.;)

 

[Sally sue]

I don't know if I'm "dramatic" persay, definitely spirited :) I think I ended up making a bigger hoo-ha when something was wrong because no one really believed me :( I am the youngest of 3 and my brother and sister still have "real" problems, and I just don't seem to merit "real" problems in my family....I'm the happy one. The strong one. When I told my sister I was struggling, she told me that wasn't me, I was always so happy! And was the T making me think this way? i thought "Really?!! I'm telling you I'm struggling and youre telling me im wrong, geeze!" I guess she just couldn't wrap her mind around the possibility :( Or maybe I've learned to put up a good front...that's so sad :(

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Well it's this way with a lot of different disorders, not just trauma.

Some people can down sugar like there is no tomorrow and never gain weight or develop diabetes, while others are sugar sensitive and can't eat much of it if any at all without having serious medical problems.

Other people can smoke like chimneys and never get cancer or emphysema or other medical issues while other smokers get sick early in life and end up losing body parts and dying young. (Have you seen those new commercials? I've seen them on the Ion network in the USA. It's so gross what smoking can do to people!)

The same can be said for drinking.... My grandmother was a heavy drinker AND smoker for most of her life and lived til she was 85. I don't drink or smoke. Barring a life shortened by trauma, I'm determined to live well into my 90's!

I think it's important to keep this in perspective. Trauma isn't unique in that the "cause" doesn't always result in a bad "effect" (in this case, PTSD). Maybe this will help you see that it has nothing to do with you being mentally weaker than other people.

 

[Seasounds]

Yup, I agree that:

• PTSD is a normal response.
• Different factors predispose a person to PTSD. Link Removed
• PTSD shows up in adults who seemed very happy as kids.
• Relatives and friends are not reliable references for validating trauma. They often are in denial themselves, or not wanting their loved one to suffer. Additionally, their experience is not yours.
• Your experience is valid. It took time, for me to not doubt myself, or feel lonely or angry, that others didn't believe me. This forum helps remedy that problem.

 

[WhiteSwan]

Me too!! Always was called a drama queen by my mum!!! Tilybee again I can relate to you and your Mum.

I too am coming to terms with the legitimacy of my condition having recently been diagnosed. But not from my point of view - I can see and am feeling every symptom and behaviour of ptsd. It's from my family's perspective (if I told them - which I'm not going to) they would think I am over reacting or trying to find an excuse!!

As a lot of my memories are blocked (it was trauma in my childhood) it's hard to understand the source/cause in great detail - I think what I am trying to do is measure how "bad" my trauma was which is ridiculous because any sexual abuse is bad enough especially on a 3 yr old!!

The truth is that ptsd is a "hardware" problem in the brain so-to-speak. Not a "software" problem. What I mean by this analogy is that the way the brain has laid down its neutron pathways in the brain. This is part of the way my doctor explained it to me anyway. I know there is a lot more to it than this but this highlights that it is very much a real physical condition - not just subjective

I hope this is useful. And just because your seen as happy or strong... Doesn't discount any ptsd - the reason I'm the 'white swan' here is because I'm always seen as cool calm and in control like a swan gliding through the water but underneath the surface I am paddling like mad... Just to keep going (and hold up this facade) whether it be conscious or subconsciously that I'm doing this - it's a survival mechanism I adapted as I grew up in the face of an unsafe environment.

Ptsd isn't a sign of weakness - like many of you are saying it has resulted from a very normal function. Our fight; flight or freeze auto response in the face of life threatening (or any significant or perceived real threat to our safety, physically or emotionally) it is engaging a different part of the brain to that of cognitive interpretation, thought processing and memory storing. As primal humans - the fight; flight; freeze is what kept us alive (ie. there is a big lion in front of me - the survival mechanism kicks in before you have time to think)

It's worth reading up on some credible sources for your own understanding in addition to sadly how we feel the need to defend our condition (not our fault).

Why some get ptsd and others don't ... Is a multidimensional thing but I agree with what many of you have said in that you can inherit a predisposition to the condition and depending on environmental and lifestyle factors will increase your chances of getting it.

Personally I still can't help feel guilty about my 'stressful nature' and lifestyle (in adulthood, drinking alcohol to escape) and repressing my feelings all my life. I'm all to quick to blame myself! That is what is great about this forum - thank you all for sharing and listening.... I fear I have rambled too long but I'm feeling better for it :)

 

[ms spock]

Usually people have been primed for it in some way according to my psychiatrist.

It is what it is.

And this is of no help at all with what you are feeling.

 

[tillybee]

@WhiteSwan it's scary how similiar we all are at times. It's horrifying how many of us there are! And I think it's pretty amazing that for whatever reason we all found our way here. Love this forum & it's support - I enjoyed reading your post - interesting stuff :)

 

[franciemarnie]

I believe some people who experience trauma and do not develop PTSD somehow were able to release the trauma energy quickly thereafter. If you were unable to for whatever reason, the groundwork can be laid for PTSD.

My husband was flying a small plane alone a couple years ago. Suddenly he saw heading straight for him another plane. First he froze. Then his training kicked in and he immediately veered right and down and just missed crashing. Minutes later when safe he began shaking uncontrollably. The entire experience was frightening, a close call, but he survived and was okay.

I said to him, Imagine for four years, 24/7, you were daily flying with planes unpredictably headed to crash into yours - so frequently you could never have a moment of safety in which you could shake to release the flood of trauma hormones built up in the danger period. Imagine how that would screw up your system. No release for years and years.

For me, that is why some get it and some don't. No release for too long. It's a little more complicated than that but that's the gist of the thing.

 

[ms spock]

@franciemarnie That is a great way of explaining it. Thank you.