What Is Wrong With Me?

[Blank]

Why why do I do this shit? What the f*ck is wrong with me?
I got into a fight on the way home from my parents house (sore spot anyway) about my SIL with my SO and then I started to shut down during that but once that had fizzled out we seemed okay but when we got home and I was just telling him about the medical bills that I had to pay, he kept asking what Doctor, what Doctor what Doctor, is this pt, is this your pill Doctor what Doctor and I ended up just shutting down again because I couldn't handle all the questions and I got up and said "you don't even care about how I feel" and he said " what the f*ck do you mean I don't even care" as he threw down his expensive headset. I came up and sat in the fetal position while gripping my head with my nails rocking and shaking and screaming in my head "just hit my already just f*cking hit me" (he's never laid a hand on me, all my other exs did). He saw how bad I was shaking but when he tried to come over and comfort me I leaned away and he got mad and left to play his computer.
Why does this shit happen? Why are there so many arguments? Did all the love run out? Im so confused.

 

[Friday]

Lashing out is really common with PTSD.

The Ptsd Cup Explanation

Good news is that it's something you can learn to manage.

 

[LittleMrsAntisocial]

That was a truly amazing explanation. I have it bookmarked! I have always seemed to fly off the handle at some really dumb stuff. Thank you so much for your insight!!

 

[Tinyflame]

(a) sore spot anyway

This might have had a greater affect than you realized. I know lots of times (nearly always) I minimize or don't notice or try to ignore or push through, & don't know how bad some things affect me but nonetheless there is fall-out later in some form.

 

[Blank]

I never thought it would have had a bigger effect than it would have. But thank you every one with great advice. I hate this PTSD thing :(

 

[Gadgie]

Quote......." hate this PTSD thing :("

We all do, fact is, we just have to learn to live with it.