Also, I broke a rule, today.
When people I love were leaving, my words were in line, but not my actions. So the last thing I said to them was to 'have fun'. But I didn't bother to stand up, or see them out, or wave. Yes. I was stress out, overwhelmed, exhausted. It's no excuse. If they die and I never see them again? That's my fault. A half assed farewell, from a half assed person. I am f*cking furious with myself. In tears furious.
And also, clearly, mixing up timelines. They are going to a wine tasting, not the end of the world. :banghead: And the designated driver was hit & run over by a drunk driver, so they take their responsibilities seriously.
People can live if you don't have your eyes on them. You don't have to kill them in your heart & mind and consign them to their graves just because you can't see them. People go away and come back all the time, just fine. Seriously, self. Go unf*ck your head. It's a normal thing. With undoubtedly a normal ending. Chill. The. f*ck. Out. You. Edgy. Bitch. >.<