Relationship What To Do Next???

[supporterofmygirl]

Hello everyone. I married the love of my live six years ago. I moved into her house and soon after we started living together things started to get bad. Long story short, I moved in and out four different times because I didn't know what was wrong. We stayed married for 5 years when I finally divorced her. Thinking I was at fault, I wanted to give it another shot so we continued seeing each other trying to work on the relationship. I moved back into her house about 8 months ago only to be gone again just about 2 months ago.

Finally I went and talked to my therapist about her and how she was acting. I explained the history of her and our relationship and he thought she probably has PTSD. I convinced my girlfriend to seek help and she did about 3 weeks ago and her therapist diagnosed her with PTSD. There is so much more to this than I could possibly explain... She has told me she needs her space, does that mean I don't call her at all because I believe one of the symptoms is lack of initiation. So will she call me??? When do I call her??? Do I call her to see how she is doing??? I have done a lot of things wrong in the past because I didn't know the problem. I don't want to keep making the same mistakes. Thanks

 

[discarded]

You have made a great start just by caring enough about her to find a reason for her behaviour and getting her a diagnosis. I don't really know what to advise you as I made plenty of mistakes with my sufferer that cost me big time. I am sure there are plenty of supporters and sufferers here who can give helpful advice. She has a lot to take in and a lot of work to do just in accepting her diagnosis and hopefully starting some sort of treatment. It is going to take time, probably a long time.

I don't think it will hurt to make contact, just keep it brief and the conversation simple. Let her bring up the subject of PTSD when she is ready. Ask her what she needs from you, whether it be less contact for now or something else.
Let her know that you care about her as much now as you ever did and will support her in whatever way she feels comfortable. Pushing her may just push her further away, which is the last thing you obviously want to do.

 

[amethist]

Hi and welcome.

Have you thought of asking her how if or how often she would like you to contact her. Maybe she could discuss this with you. You dont know unless you ask.

The odd text every couple of day saying, "Hope your doing OK", or "I am here if you need me", would be fine, but not continuous if she does not respond.

If she does not respond, leave it a few days and try again. If the non response continues, she may be trying to tell you she needs more space. Some sufferers need more than others.

In the mean time, learn all you can for what ever comes in the future.