What Type Of Partner

[Fani]

If you are ready for a romantic partner what do you think would be better, someone that also suffers PTSD, depression, suicidal thoughts etc, or someone totally healthy... If there is such a thing? And why you think this and have you had experience with either or both?

 

[Odafe]

On one end, it would be nice to be with someone who totally gets ptsd, on the other hand, I can barely handle my own shit, and while I am a very empathetic person, I just don't know how two ptsd worlds would work. I picture constant collision, wreckage, explosions.
I have dated people with depression, it was hard if they were in a bout and I wasn't. Up and down. We never seemed to click on timing. We both shut ourselves off from each other. We weren't in a right and proper situation to be cheerleaders for each other because we could barely handle ourselves. But sometimes life comes at you and you fall in love no matter the background of the person, and you can't help that. You can only help how much and how far you are willing to go/handle.
I don't think anyone is totally healthy, we all have our baggage, but I think to get into a relationship, you have to be in a good place personally. You need for your mate to be in a good place as well. Someone on relatively the same playing field, or you are just going to have a seriously codependant relationship that is unhealthy.
Maybe people could make it work. As for me, I don't see it.

 

[Zeme]

Oh geeze I can't imagine a relationship with both partners having PTSD, that would be a train wreck lol.

 

[Wuku]

Totally healthy, which, of course, is why I have spent the last many decades alone and will be alone for the next many many decades , centuries even, if CRSIPR keeps us alive! :-D

 

[Uzivif]

I have been with other traumatised people, I preferred ones who hadn't been. I felt safer, happier, saner.

 

[Faveg]

Someone who is in recovery. Someone who has been through a battle or challenge but learned from it, grew, healed and is in a stable place now, and knows what they would do if shit hit the fan in life.

Those are people that I have relationships with that last.

 

[Usafa]

I would say it depends on how far down the line of recovery you are. My partner is healthy, and has helped me....mainly my thinking, which he will question...why do you think that?....he is extremely logical, so it can stop me running away with my thoughts. When I need space, he instinctively knows, and because he is confident, both within himself, and our relationship, he does not question it, and leaves me to it....which is what I need and want.

If I had met him say twenty years ago, I could have read it as ' he doesn't care '....and that he was putting me down all the time by questioning my thoughts and actions.

So I would say that it would depend on where I am.

 

[Omu]

Definitely someone without a mental illness. Other baggage is fine.