What?

[trying2movefwd]

Thoughts of "I wish I had went through with it when I was a teen." "I can't now because I have children who need me". I wish there was a way to eliminate my "parts", but leave the "me" that functions as Mother alive.
Also realizing what I want is just to stop feeling this way. I know this is depression. But is it ideation? Does it warrant meeting more often with my T? We meet bi weekly. How do I open up and be real? I get in her office and the mask goes up..."Oh I am actually great..lets just make a joke about everything and go home!". I do trust her and feel a connection, but she is new. I've been through so many T's. They all seem to move or leave or we do not connect. I am tired trying.

 

[Deleted member 44579]

Hi @trying2movefwd.... It's it just regrets?....

And the mother part of you... That's an amazing thing to be a good mum... There are a hell of alot of bad ones.... Really bad ones... Mine for instance.

If you want to see your therapist... Do it.... It must be hard though when they keep leaving.. That sucks.... It must make it harder to open up again.... Maybe this time you will connect...
If you know it's depression... Are you on any medication?... If might help.... Take care... It will get better.... You know it will.... Just not right now....

 

[Ronin]

@trying2movefwd , if you had (went through with it when you were a teen), there wouldn't be the amazing people your kids are in the world.

And parts that are around are still survival of all of you - included that functioning as a Mother.

Can you tell your therapist you don't feel as great as you may present, that you're making yourself to be and it's not helping you long term, things like that?

Just because this is difficult, does not mean you are being difficult. And does not mean you don't have a place in the world.