What's Keeping You Alive?

[Jade-]

What's keeping me alive at this moment?

 

[Deleted member 5760]

You'd be very sorely missed Jadebear. I've really come to like your posts and your sense of humour. What can I say - you've 'grown on me' :)

Also, if you ever do get to that point make sure you discuss it with someone around you. It's amazing how someone can be talked down if they simply have someone else willing to listen.

 

[Jade-]

Thanks jen. I'm glad someone actually likes my posts and gets my sarcastic humor.

 

[Deleted member 6617]

More than one someone gets your humor Jadebear. Don't take this wrong....but I would also miss the fellow rollercoaster rider. God we have our ups and downs don't we? Hang in there and keep lines of communication open! You would be very much missed you know! ((((HUGS))))

 

[anni]

You have an awful lot of 'right' to feel that way, I know. PTSD manifests in an awful lot of ways. For what it's worth, I've often wished mine manifested in more of your obvious FIGHT, Jadebear. I'm a marshmallow, mostly- can process things, hence fight them but taking your sort of solid stance eludes me, also mostly. I hope you can find a little more fight in there- it's an awfully good example in a lot of ways. You now deserve the peace here on the planet you've fought your way through to.

For what it's worth, even as a big fat marshmallow, the thought of 'them' winning via me not being here is sometimes what's given me the resolve to erase that deadline. Lots of 'thems'. for us. They will just not win.

Hugs, if that's ok.

 

[Jade-]

I shouldn't have posted what I was thinking at the moment. That seems to be one of my downfalls.

I appreciate the replies, but I just want to get back on topic here please.

 

[Deleted member 5760]

Nothing wrong with posting what you are thinking Jadebear. Nothing at all :)

I saw no sign of attack on anyone else, etc. Maybe it was even a bit healthy to vent rather than act.

 

[anni]

Ok. :)

 

[Sethe]

Sethe, I'm with you on the animals. I would be so lost without mine. They understand in ways no human can and the unconditional love is so healing. I have one dog, one cat, and two horses. All play important and seperate roles in my therapy and healing. They are awesome.

Jadebear, I agree with you too. Therapy is the other think keeping me alive right now. Back down to twice a week now and I have a love/hate relationship with it. I have learned in the last three weeks I can trust my T and say anything to her that is filling my brain. It has been good to release things that I could not release to anyone else. It is also hard as hell to do it. Think I finally figured out I can't use my friends as my T. Too bad I figured it out too late for some friendships that have been destroyed. Well....that is for another time and place....

2 birds now (had 3 :(), 4 cats and 1 dog. Oh, and 1 bf (jk!).

Therapy has also kicked my ass a few times. Like I said in other threads (I think I did), this T really has me working and I know when I'm making progress because I can feel it. It feels gut wrenching and painful, but, unfortunately, I think it may be necessary.

 

[Sethe]

A very hot shower! I'm looking forward to a warm environment to open up my sinuses.

Also, hot green tea is nice- especially with those made-from-scratch brownies. Yum.

 

[Deleted member 5760]

You know the funniest thing - tonight it was raining and I had to go grocery shopping. It's not very far. But I insisted on walking - why?

Because feeling the rain on my body reminded me I was alive. Even if it did mess up my 'perfect hair'.. :)

 

[LostInOz]

the imaginary life I have created for myself as a survival tool.