What's Keeping You Alive?

[Deleted member 6617]

LOL....Sheer stubborness! "They" are not going to win by beating me! Not today!

 

[Iam]

Hope that I can get better.

 

[Unhinged]

Today I'm happy to log into the new forum and see that I have earned Achievables! (or trophys) I too enjoy gaming on the XBOX so I spend a lot of time chasing the achievements in my games. So I guess in a silly way achievements help keep me alive. Spent 3.5 hours on saturday playing in a Halo firefight to get 1mil. points.

Its good to hear that you can still play games Kiskit. Sorry to hear about Kiska and Yukon, huskies are amazing.

 

[Kiskit]

Hi, again, Unhinged, (got your first PM)
Kiska is doing well (that's her in my profile pic). Yukon is the the service dog who died. Kiska is now my service dog. I have a third husky named Juneau. She is a great pet. Juneau does have many health problems: bilateral ACL tears & surgeries within the past year). Her arthritis in her back & knees at age 6 is now worse than Yukon's arthritis when she died at age 12.5 yrs.

Good to know there are other xbox 360 achievement, uh, hunters on this forum as well. If you are ever on x360a look me up under this same username. Also, kiskit is my xbox 360 GT. Message me your GT if u want or send a FR to mine would be welcome, too.

Gaming and huskies truly are what keeps me going! Family just got me COD Black Ops & Assassin Creed Brotherhood for my bday! I am less than 6000 GS away from 100,000 GS so that has kept me going. I do worry that after I reach that 100k will I have any gaming goals that'll keep me focused? Gaming is my number one tool to combat flashbacks. A true life-saver for this jaded medic!

 

[Sethe]

Lately, baking and cooking from scratch has helped me quite a bit.

My animals (and memories of my past pets who I miss dearly).

Nature (birds, lizards, frogs, etc). I saw a frog at work the other day. I gently nudged him across the sidewalk so he wouldn't get trampled. I felt good about that.

T- definitely!

BF for loving me UNCONDITIONALLY (still getting used to that one).

 

[Jade-]

Therapy. Although I hate/dread going, I really do believe it's keeping me alive. Sometimes it feels like it's killing me to tell all my 'secrets', but not as bad as keeping the secrets felt.

 

[Tinyflame]

..it's killing me to tell all my 'secrets', but not as bad as keeping the secrets felt.

Jadebear- I think that's healthy Good for you.

 

[Deleted member 6617]

Sethe, I'm with you on the animals. I would be so lost without mine. They understand in ways no human can and the unconditional love is so healing. I have one dog, one cat, and two horses. All play important and seperate roles in my therapy and healing. They are awesome.

Jadebear, I agree with you too. Therapy is the other think keeping me alive right now. Back down to twice a week now and I have a love/hate relationship with it. I have learned in the last three weeks I can trust my T and say anything to her that is filling my brain. It has been good to release things that I could not release to anyone else. It is also hard as hell to do it. Think I finally figured out I can't use my friends as my T. Too bad I figured it out too late for some friendships that have been destroyed. Well....that is for another time and place....

 

[Jade-]

PH.....I have also learned that I can tell my T. anything . And I mean 'anything'. It took me a long time to get to this point with him, but I'm glad I'm finally there. I find myself telling him things that would send anyone else running away. And it feels good that he doesn't judge me or tell me I'm wrong in thinking/feeling that way.

He has told me some of the things are "scary"....and they are, but it feels better being able to tell somebody than hold it in and have it eat away at my soul.

 

[Deleted member 6617]

Boy that is the truth Jadebear. Things do eat away at my soul as well. I never thought I would be able to tell ANYONE some of the things I have told her. She also has said some of it is scary, some of it breaks her heart, and some of it makes her cry. She said she will not apologize for tears if either of us cry. That really makes a difference to me. So many people are afraid of tears and I see them as healthy and cleansing. Not something to fear.

Glad you have a T you have come to trust Jadebear....makes all the difference in our worlds!

 

[Deleted member 5760]

Yes, validation is a really important part of therapy.

Something ironic I'll share - when I told my T some of the things that had happened to me and she said I had a right to be angry - I suddenly wasn't as angry anymore. It felt like 'thank you, FINALLY someone understands why I've been going off the way I have'.

Back to topic - what's keeping me alive today?
- my family and friends
- the fact that if I wasn't here I would no longer have a body and that would mean I couldn't
a) hug, and
b) DANCE

 

[seedling]

Being on the forum is keeping me alive.
Therapy today, was good but I always feel so alone afterwards. An hour is never even close to enough time. It's good to come here and know I can talk.