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Why Couldn't She Think Of This?

  • Post starter Post starter Deleted member 34535
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Deleted member 34535

On Sept. 14, 2014, I met my mother at the park on the river in the town which we both lived. It was 12 noon. I drilled her for about 50 minutes on fact after fact. And at the conclusion of this grilling, my mother made the statement, "Well you know CRC, rapes and things just happen in society." Kind of like saying,"You know you were a little toddler, you should have just enjoyed it." I walked away and that was the last time I have seen this perpetrator. And that was the last time that I will ever see or hear from this perpetrator, yes, including a funeral.

A little more background information so you can put everything into context. And this information I got directly from my mother's mouth. When my mother was very young, there was a fire at her childhood home. It was either 2 or 3 of her siblings perished in the fire. Her mother always blamed her father for the children perishing in the fire. Now every day of my life, for the most part. I had to listen to what a rotten SOB my father was. And he may have been, but time will clear that up. I am sure her mother told her every day what a rotten SOB her father was for letting the children burn up in the fire. She told me her father also molested her. She told me about her father laying next to her in his underwear. Yes, even I know that is sick and I wish it had not happened to her.

I heard many times how she interviewed for the F.B.I. and could have worked for them. Here you had a woman who hated males. Why? Simple, because males burned up children and molested children. I think she has a valid argument for hating males in my opinion. My brother and I felt all of this rage for males, believe me. So now, many years later, my question is, "Why Couldn't She Think Of This." The solution is so simple it isn't funny. You Hate with a passion males. The simple solution in my opinion was to just become a lesbian and follow your career paths. To me, that is just such a simple solution to her a complex set of problems.

Instead, she decided to take her age out on my brother and myself. Folks, this is what happens when people are blinded with anger and rage. Where anger and rage are present, logic will be absent. Look at all of the hurt, pain, and devastation that would have been averted if the very simple solution of becoming a lesbian and following her career goals would have been followed. Logic is the only thing that will win the day where so much hurt and filth is present. Emotion will almost always make for a poor decision making process. And logic will almost always win the day.
 
the very simple solution of becoming a lesbian
The current thinking on the subject is that one is either born a lesbian, or not is not. You don't choose that, not deep down inside. There were a lot of other things she could have done too. Not had kids, given the kids up for adoption, gotten some help with her issues so she could lead a more nearly normal life...... Sorry you didn't have a better mother!
 
That is true crc, but easier said than done. Sometimes people are unaware that logic will change their lives because they think their feelings are inescapable. They can't imagine not being the slave to the master of intense feelings even when looking directly at possible solutions.

Anger is preferable to fear. Rage is preferable to powerlessness and despair. If you cant imagine the possibility of being free of intense emotion, anger is a more empowering choice, if you can pull it off.

You are absolutely right that logic and changing your life for the better are the only way to have the life you want, and not perpetuate the damage with your own children and loved ones. I have a hard time managing that myself, and I try hard to get a grip on it.

One thing I've noticed with really angry women in older generations, is that they often go on about what amazing career they might have had if only that bastard had'nt ruined everything. Seems common that they think they are undiscovered geniuses or had some amazing talent that the world was deprived of because of their fathers, husbands and children.

You know, clinging to the tragedy and blame is an excuse for not facing that they didnt do what they could have to make things different for themselves. I have plenty of these would be fantastic contributions to the world in my own family, funny how they're all just mean old ladies that talk smack.
 
"... my mother made the statement, "Well you know CRC, rapes and things just happen in society." Kind of like saying, "You know you were a little toddler, you should have just enjoyed it." Hmmm. I think I'd re-examine this bit (even though it was not the primary focus of your post)... that is not what she said, and kinda like saying, is not saying.
 
"Well you know CRC, rapes and things just happen in society," is exactly what she said. Albatross, if you were looking into evil eyes as fire engine red as I was, you might have a better understanding and be able to put things into context as I have.
 
Well sadly, yeah they do happen. To my mother, to my grand mother, to me. I don't doubt that you had more information than what you wrote but to recollect it as "kinda like saying you should enjoy it"... well I'd just be hurting myself with that one because that's not what was said (in your opening post)... to me it may have been a distinct impression, or you had some body language and the tone of voice or something... but I'm rather a hard ass about that stuff... what I remember, how accurately I remember... I don't need to build in angst, woe, or bitterness ya know?
 
My point is that what she said, and what you feel she "kinda" said isn't helpful or generally beneficial and wasn't said. Don't lay down track if you don't want the train to go there ya know? I stick to the facts in as much as I can and rely on peers to bust my chops if I lapse.
 
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