Why do therapists not ask questions about something the following week?

[Stephernovas]

Anyway, I’m wondering how you all handle it when you’re not asked things you really want to be asked.

If I want something brought up in therapy, I bring it up. They are not mind readers and make their questions/assessments on what they see and observe. If I am not giving them anything to go on then they may as well speak to a brick wall. They don't know your life until you tell them. Also, the way I think of all this is that our life events and everything are all interconnected so, although it may not have been THAT day you discussed your topic, it will come up and be discussed eventually. So, you can either wait for that, or speak up.

 

[MyWillow]

Just want to add something else into the mix...I expect a good T has different approaches for different clients and what that looks like may change session to session...if you've never been heard they will encourage you to talk, if you're avoiding like crazy they will redirect the conversation, if you're stable and know what you need to work on they'll let you run it, if you're in crisis they will take a leading role, if there is shame or you hate being out of control they will ignore those incidences that occurred in session and give you back a sense of empowerment and acceptance. That pretty much describes my first 12 months in therapy. Last session I just felt this overwhelming sense of exhaustion - spending much of the session dissociated didn't help. But I am highly driven in day to day life and get up every time I fall. As I said to my T I can't drop the ball as no one is there to pick it up. So she changed tack again, realizing that I needed her to hold that emotion and distress for that hour and direct traffic for a while. And that maybe, just maybe I finally trusted her enough to do that.

 

[UnicornSightings]

Good to know you all seem to really speak up! Like I said, that’s something I’m working on and trying to do with him. I for sure didn’t come from a home where I had a voice at all so it’s just really weird for me to assume anyone wants to know something they haven’t specifically asked about. I try to remember how much I like it when others tell me stuff and how if everyone only said what was asked how little we all would speak. I will bring up things with him I want him to ask because that will be good preparation for if I ever really let others in.

 

[Friday]

I try to remember how much I like it when others tell me stuff and how if everyone only said what was asked how little we all would speak.

<grin> That’s why I shared the work-arounds. :sneaky: Because even in cultures where one does not introduce topics and needs to wait to be asked? People have things they want to be asked, that in other cultures they’d simply share. So when you find yourself stuck, or notice you’re holding your tongue waiting for the other person to introduce the topic or ask you outright? Try one of those cheats. Or something similar. Something that bridges the gap between where you are, and where you want to be.