Why Is It Important That Those Around You Understand Your Ptsd?

[EvenStrongerNow]

Are we talking about feeling sympathy for someone's situation or are we talking about empathizing with them?

Because, if we are talking about feeling sympathy, it is a care and understanding for someone's experience.

If we are talking about empathy, it is the ability to mutually experience the thoughts, emotions, and direct experience of others.

According to the dictionary, there are two definitions of understanding--one an adjective, one a noun:

1. the ability to understand something; comprehension.
2. sympathetically aware of other people's feelings; tolerant and forgiving.

Also according to the dictionary, there are two definitions of acceptance--both verbs:

1. the action of consenting to receive or undertake something offered.
2. the action or process of being received as adequate or suitable, typically to be admitted into a group.

@Solara and @Barconian , Could this be an issue with semantics?

 

[EvenStrongerNow]

:oops: @Solara , just saw the end of your post :tup:

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Except----not including

Accept---to believe or recognize as valid or correct.

I am arguing acceptance, he is arguing excepting things. Totally different, end of convo.

 

[EvenStrongerNow]

Ah, OK. Gotcha!

 

[Barconian]

Do you fully understand the chemical level at which a drug makes you high? No, but you accept that it makes you high.

Yes I do!

That's like saying gay relationships have to be completely understood before they can be accepted.

Wouldn't you want to have a little understanding about why they are who they are... Makes life easier :)

Sorry, you're right, Barconian is talking about EXceping while I am talking about ACceping. We aren't even arguing the same damn term. :-(

Cute! I like it :D

 

[greenleaf]

I do feel that it can be very important to have at least a few people with whom one can share painful things, as well as very positive things. This seems like a basic part of being close to people. That being said, I haven't recently been sharing the ptsd-related things with many people; I share other things a lot more. (The usual bad reactions from various people made me very cautious about who to disclose various things to, years ago.) However I have felt very isolated sometimes due to the difficulty in figuring out the trust thing; it depends upon how much the issues are affected me at the time, but isolation can feel very negative, and take me into a pretty dark place. Feels related to similar feelings as a kid.

I know mentally that loads of people around me are also not talking about their traumas for similar reasons... Feeling like you have something in common with someone, or they can relate in some way, seems like a basic part of emotions. This doesn't have to be something shared with everyone of course, but having no one in an environment to share important stuff with can be very difficult.

In the present, I've been working on staying in emotions - it's difficult sometimes when the world around me seems totally disconnected from the events causing those emotions, and I can't talk about anything connected to them (except in my therapist's office for an hour a week, providing I don't numb out after five minutes there...).

 

[nomedic1]

I would say to be accepted as a whole person and to show people we are not going to snap and kill any body it's not like the movies portray it. ( I might snap on no pants Friday if somebody eats my muffin though lol)

 

[EvenStrongerNow]

(((@nomedic1))) :laugh::roflmao:

 

[greenleaf]

This is slightly peripheral to the main topic here, but feels related... I hope folks don't mind.

I'm feeling like a total coward right now... I just saw an amazing post by a colleague on Facebook; he posted his history of being sexually abused as a child. All the responses were very supportive. Why do I feel like I have to keep everything totally secret at work, and just about everywhere in fact? I have this totally reflexive, absolute, *must hide anything that would make people think I'm different* thing... it feels like I can't do what he just did, even though part of me really wishes that somehow I could be more honest, and being understood sounds great, but I don't even know what that would mean sometimes. (Although in close relationships I have a better sense of what it would mean, ideally.)

 

[BlisteredSky]

Hi. First time writing here. The answers why are good. Someone said something about going back to when I was 6. I don't have many memories before 8. But when I thought of being 6, I just started crying and said "stop hurting me. I don't want to be hurt anymore."

I'd like to hear about "how" we can inform others about our condition. Cause I don't think I'm very good at it. When I don't tell people, I accidentally hurt them by things I say or do. Then they hurt me by running away, not giving me a chance to explain or apologize. When I do tell them, most don't want to hear it, run away and I get hurt all the same.

 

[Gryffy]

The girl I was dating suddenly broke up with me; she tried to explain in person but words failed her. She managed to tell me in an email that she has PTSD and that relationships are very stressful for her, but that was it. I hardly even knew what PTSD was- I knew it as "that disorder that soldiers get from war that causes them to be angry and drink a lot." I've been on here every day since trying to learn. I was hurt badly and it helps me heal to understand. Also if this girl re-enters my life, which is something I do think I want to happen, I want to be prepared for that.


Honestly, this might sound silly, but had she handed me a note saying "I have PTSD. It is very difficult for me to talk about" and a piece of paper with a quick overview of what it was and a couple links at the bottom to learn more, that actually would have been extremely helpful. And it would have gotten the message across in a way that would have felt less stressful and threatening to her.

If I was someone who didn't want to deal with it and walked away, that would of course still hurt, but it would hurt less than if she had gone through the effort to open up. And if I read it and made a genuine attempt to understand, great! If I still needed more explanation, it would at least give me an idea of what I'm dealing with and how to proceed with the conversation.

 

[Survivor2Thriver]

Why is it important for those around you to understand PTS?

Easy answer. So I know that they understand..life. Life beyond their realm. Not many people are open minded enough to take the time to understand PTS. Those who do...yeah only then do we have anything in common. :)