Why Is It Important That Those Around You Understand Your Ptsd?

[EvenStrongerNow]

This is slightly peripheral to the main topic here, but feels related... I hope folks don't mind.

I'm feeling like a total coward right now... Why do I feel like I have to keep everything totally secret at work, and just about everywhere in fact?

Shame?

 

[Lucycat]

I might snap on no pants Friday if somebody eats my muffin though

Please can you explain? I assume this is American pants - but :eek:

 

[jtrag]

This is easy... Unconditional love!!!

My Wife and I strongly believe she has PTSD, and has for quite a long time undetected until recently, and I have always told her that I love her unconditionally and always will and that I would never give up if she doesn’t :)

 

[EvenStrongerNow]

I assumed nm meant that he doesn't wear any pants on Friday lol

 

[Nolen]

For anyone struggling to answer, like those whose trauma came from childhood, the best way to get to the truth of something is to pretend you are six years old and then answer this question.

So they know it's not my fault I react the way I do. That was a great suggestion! My answer hit me like a ton of bricks.lol

 

[Tinyflame]

You see, I can't see it Nolen's way, though that's probably right. I would see it as "so I know why I react as I do, then I can work on changing how I react, then one day not react that way (hopefully)". My understanding, not others'.

 

[Survivor2Thriver]

I agree Junebug. It's both. Our friends have to have understanding as much as we do. :)

 

[Survivor2Thriver]

Otherwise everyone starts taking things personally and ohh what a mess that can be. Currently I'm working on triggers and who sets them off. There are a couple of men I avoid. One is a groper..he's a little iffy....he's a sax player @ a restaurant I enjoy going to. He's (I guess) harmless there's no fear he'll drag me in the back room and rape me. Likewise I should be able to enjoy my dinner without the intense need to knee him. He simply needs to learn to keep his hands to himself. Another man I avoid has mannerisms like my brother. He doesn't really look like him..I'm not sure what it is. I have the same intense need to knee him too. Point is...I can't knee either of them. I have to work on me.

 

[Zef]

I'd like to hear about "how" we can inform others about our condition.

Hi BlisteredSky,
I use analogies a lot when I need to explain my PTSD to them. The owner of the company I work for is a sports fan. . .so I have a whole analogy equating PTSD with a basketball player who blew out a knee and is trying to get back into playing shape.

The goal is to put things into a framework that the other person can relate to. It doesn't have to be a perfect analogy or explain absolutely everything about PTSD, it only has to be enough so that some sort of connection occurs in the other person's brain.

I'm a little disassociated right now. . .so hoping that what I posted actually makes sense. :)

 

[Hope4Now]

put things into a framework that the other person can relate to

Yes, @Zef, it makes sense to me. I've never thought of it this way. Maybe this will help me explain it to people without sending them to the internet to look it up because I find it almost impossible to articulate.

 

[desiderata310]

One person at work knows. He actually notices when something is wrong and steers people away for a moment when I get shaky and let's me have the time I need to regroup. He doesn't know details just that I have it and I'm working on it. It was a real risk to take for me. I chose well. He has 4 different friends with PTSD so he gets it (one from accidentally shooting someone in war time, one from accident, one I don't have info on and me)

Last Friday, I triggered moments before a meeting that was supposed to happen in my office with the door closed. I managed to get through the meeting but I wasn't really … as engaged. I had to push to fight through it. When the other person left, he closed the door and said, 'your hands were shaking, you ok?' *gulp* no. He didn't ask questions, just said, 'take a few minutes, I've got this' and walked out and closed the door. WOW. I needed it. I crumpled at that point. I needed the space and at least SOMEONE got that I needed it. Someone was watching my back.

 

[anthony]

Why is it important that those around you understand your PTSD/CPTSD?

I honestly don't really care whether people around me understand my PTSD. It isn't theirs to deal with, it is mine... making it my problem and not theirs.

Trying to have people around me who only understood my PTSD, would be more about me, and not about PTSD or them. To me... that is one way to push others away from you.

Some of my family accept it, some don't... but I still hang around all of them and have conversations with them. Their ignorance or lack of understanding is not my problem to deal with... and doesn't change how I see them as a person, because I have been ignorant myself and accept its a personal choice.