yeh- so this kid went from active to not at all active in a 0.6 seconds.
^So, you can identify areas that need some forward motion and perhaps why little problems take on big proportions when he's not being physically and mentally challenged. A sudden stop in terms of physical activity makes me feel like crap so I can only imagine a young developing brain and body would feel much worse.
even when schools shut down i would take them both bicycling or we'd got for a walk for at least an hour a day.
^Can you recommence this but not in a formal way. Perhaps tell them to check their bikes over and find their helmets etc and pick a time to go for just one biycle ride...not commit to it happening every day - just begin with one ride?
so not only am i not able to connect and give him attention- the attention he does get is all negative dysregulated garbage. ?
and now he hates himself.
^So he's feeling like garbage for a few reasons and for sure, you're probably part of the mix but no, you are not responsible for it all. Take that off your shoulders - you are not responsible for everything in your children's world.
he said he was broken. and nobody understands.
he used to say nobody but you understands dad. and now i've effectively ruined that one little bit of connection we had.
^Once, twice - six times you let your child down will not ruin the connection. He'll still come back, make amends and forgive your own failings bc you are doing what you can and he is not lost to you or you to him.
i told him we can fix it.
im not sure i believe i actually can tho.
^That's okay, you've lost confidence. You don't have to be convinced but you must begin to step outside of your head and do things with him... randomly engage here and there. It takes an enormous amount of effort and I know you're really suffering right now, I can feel it in your words... but you can still do a little here and there. Start very, very small and don't commit to big stuff.. let it grow organically.
Regarding the selling lemonade thing... he may have just grown out of it... so don't belt yourself up. Ask him what else is going on with that stuff & listen to where his interest lays.