General Wife with cptsd

[Zachary Rowland]

So about 2 months ago we found out that my wife has cptsd and have had a time of it since then, she now says she doesn't believe she doesn't want to be with me anymore but she still loves me, she doesn't want to go to therapy cause she doesn't believe its that bad, we got a work book that she did some of but she feels like she is being dramatic and nothing is that wrong with her, I see that she is broken and needs help, how can I help her when she doesn't know if she wants to be married anymore, how can I know if she really wants to separate or its her emotions taking over.
Someone please help.

 

[Zachary Rowland]

So about 2 months ago we found out that my wife has cptsd and have had a time of it since then,...

Sorry for my bad grammar I'm on my phone.

 

[grit]

I am sorry you have this problem but I think only she can help herself. Maybe give her space to find her way. Nothing worse than coming face to face your own trauma and have a compulsive caretaker to jump in. I am not being sarcastic just thing honestly let her be for while and see what she wants to do about it.

 

[Zachary Rowland]

Thank you grit any advice is welcome we are both still new to cptsd and she doesn't want to feel like she is crazy but she knows that she can't always control her emotions, but she also tries to play it off, I just want to help her so bad, I have never loved anyone they way I love her and this whole thing just crushes me, I don't know if she needs space or a hug, its hard to be a supporter when sometimes she doesn't want to say anything is really wrong, so thank you for any help.

 

[EveHarrington]

Gentle encouragement?

Believe me it can take decades to get to the point where you stop believing everything you feel, numbness included.....meaning that patience is very important.

 

[OrangeJulius]

@Zachary Rowland That's a tough situation you have on your hands. Like others have already said, you don't really have a say in your wife's acceptance of her CPTSD or her decision to get treatment. That part is her journey.

And I can speak from experience when I say that it completely sucks when your significant other doesn't know if they still want to be in a relationship with you. I am currently going through this with my boyfriend of 5 years. He recently broke up with me verbally but never did anything past that. You can read more about that in my diary "Now me" if you'd like.

What has served me well thus far navigating that situation has been to follow his lead and continue loving and supporting him in the ways I always have. My logic is he will either appreciate it and not want to give that up or if he actually doesn't want to be attached....it will motivate him to leave and get away from me.

Take some time around here to learn about things to expect. Don't forget that you come first....take some time and spend some energy everyday taking care of yourself because nobody else will. And welcome to the forum! Its amazing being able to connect with people that understand what you're going through. Your family and friends will not understand no matter how much you try to explain. I think most of us on the supporter side have stopped talking to our friends and family about PTSD behaviors altogether because we are sick of hearing our ill partners bad-mouthed and never reaching the relief that's supposed to come after venting.