You Know You Have PTSD When...

[NoWhereKnowWhere]

When for a split second, you seriously considered punching an old woman in the back of the head in the supermarket, because you felt trapped and she wouldn't get out of the god damn way! Deep breath. Must. Fight. Urges. Ugh I hate shopping at this time of year. Or any other time really, but it particularly sucks at Christmas time.

 

[Ronin]

When the hard things? Are easy. Automatic.

It's simple shit like how to buy a goddamn coffee you have a hours long panic attack about.

& You're not going into what a simple thing like coffee is a coping mechanism for.

 

[Fadeaway]

When you finally get to tell someone your side of the story, but you botch it all to hell, and now can't sleep because your mind is reminding you of all the things you should have said.

 

[Fadeaway]

When the hard things? Are easy. Automatic. It's simple shit like how to buy a goddamn coffee you have a hours long panic attack about.

Someone please explain to me why this is? Why does our minds have it so backwards?

Dear Brain, you know those things you have in the easy to deal with box, things like death destruction and mayhem? Yeah, um, just so you know, most people find those things kinda go in the hard to deal with box. Picking out new dishtowels is not more difficult than death so please put them in their proper box so people don't look at me like I am a freak when I cry over the wrong shit.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Going through withdrawals from Xanax, never, ever again.

 

[Anrish]

When you are looking forward to be hugged but fear it at the same time.

 

[One step at a time]

Picking out new dishtowels is not more difficult than death so please put them in their proper box so people don't look at me like I am a freak when I cry over the wrong shit.

This. I don't usually cry, but I do freak out... it's like that e. e. cummings poem "dying is fine)but Dishtowels?o baby i wouldn’t like Shopping if Shopping were good" or something like that :)

 

[Anrish]

When people ask you how you will spend New Year's Eve and you don't know it because you don't care....and they don't get it...:banghead:

 

[Ronin]

When nothing matters but you still need to figure how to thank all y'all nice people out there and that thought cuts through despair and grief just fine.

 

[8888]

When you can't celebrate Christmas with the family because your cousin's wife's father has the same name as your abuser and its a trigger.

 

[Anrish]

When you hide yourself behind an empathic mask for the Christmas time so your family is content.

 

[Ronin]

When you manage with nice & polite, but still get the weird looks, because you're off-empathy / too depressed to try emote properly.

& When you half don't mind, as you're busy turning torch-(me)-all into fight-for-all aka semi-healthy compass. If only inner work paid, sigh.