You Know You Have PTSD When...

[Anrish]

You are the only one in a big group who does order a non-alcoholic drink because you don't want to lose control in a foreign country surrounded by strangers.

 

[Recovery4Me]

You know you have PTSD when your radar goes up, body movements of both you, surroundings and others are calculated in various strategies as if there exist a CPU in the adrenaline. The circle of acceptance (which guarantees more safety through oxytocin bonding), direct eye contact, pitch, volume, tonal quality and energy signatures are accounted for as you survey your co-workers. You assess safety is not there yet...bonding is not there yet. Not completely safe yet.

Hypervigilance now engaged, you walk it out, as you go to your car a half of mile in the dark street. Get home and watch another scenario unfold with Mr. dashing out the door for a work emergency:locktopic:. Radar already engaged, you resign to a sleepless night as you now feel paranoia rumble in it's cage. The only thing to do is make the time productive to feel victorious over the emotional hijack and wait for the state to dissipate from focusing within the moment.

You know you have PTSD when you are among a group that not only understands those actions but can offer further tips to self-sooth,:clown: grab a book they purchased to do so, offer other terminology and shake their head with you when you say, "It was one of those days with triggers.":)

 

[Hydrotroop91]

Your supporter is going on vacation with her husband for a week and she makes sure that you are going to be okay and have back up contacts. She then tells mutual friends to check in on you and if it gets bad to call her. But you refuse because it's vacation. Then you talk to your cat pretending it's her.

 

[rainy_daze]

When you simultaneously attempt to face and deny triggers at the same time :wtf:.

When you get the urge to run away, very fast. Or you want to stay still and quiet, and try to block out the memories.

When you've tensed your body up and it feels rigid.

When you decide to take a forum break to take care of yourself :brb:.

 

[Anrish]

When you flinch when a guy just tries to hug you.

When you have a bad conscience for being yourself.

When you are strict with yourself, so strict that others are irritated.

 

[zaniara]

When you with great effort manage to say hi when a pastor in church greets you, but then when she asks how you are just start walking out the door because you just can't manage to give a polite nonsense answer.

 

[Recovery4Me]

@zaniara :hug:

I know I have PTSD because some of my greetings for real time are rehearsed that allow some of me and some truth.
When co-workers ask, "How are you?"

I offer, "Glad to be here!" Which means to me that I am truly happy to be alive.

I also offer, the money noise of an old cash register or one arm slot machine and the pulling of the arm of it to open it or roll the fruit and say, "Ching-Ching!" which means making money is good

At times, I will offer,"Blessed to be here!" "Glad I woke up!"

For Pastors, Ministers, I will offer a spiritual truth, to how are you...
"His work in progress!"
or a nod and ask them their question back with monitoring my tone. If I can not speak, (as I can not adapt) I nod and touch their shoulder in a soft gesture. If they ask anything else...I gently shake my head no, press my lips with my finger and walk towards a pew.

This is how I know I have PTSD. I want to still manage a little in my chaos...so I practice for those times and build some first aid tools.:hug: Take what you need and leave the rest.;)

 

[LuckyDuck]

...when you've not yet got help from a therapist and it's your life's work just to get help
...when you wake up 20 times a night and wonder why the hell your throat hurts (turns out I scream a lot)
...when you suddenly feel bad, associate it to an event, then have to tell yourself it's your brain playing tricks on you
...when "walking in the mud" is a good description of taking on every day challenges in life
...when your philosophical views go from nihilist to absurdist and you suddenly feel better
...when you hold on tight to any words of wisdom from your cousin who recovered from Afghanistan and Kuwait
...when you take moments like these and know some days it doesn't grip you as bad, and you try to forget you posted in this thread at all because it hurts to write this stuff

 

[zaniara]

@zaniara :hug:

I know I have PTSD because some of my greetings for real time are rehearsed that allow some of me and some truth.


...so I practice for those times and build some first aid tools.:hug: Take what you need and leave the rest.;)

Oh, thank you! That was really helpful! (with a friend I used 'he is working with me'..) :) Yes= PTSD= I need to rehearse answers. Was actually already heading for the door in panic because they had given us some time to turn around and talk to and greet the people around us.. :banghead:

 

[Recovery4Me]

@zaniara :hug: Be gentle with yourself and share your greetings with us when you are ready.:tup:

 

[Deleted member 19804]

When the person next to you in class drops a pen and you get so startled that your body makes an involuntary jerk and gets pumped full of adrenaline.

And that is on the maximum dosage of my anti-anxiety meds. If I didn't have those, I'd probably have passed out x')

 

[Xephyr]

When you punch a bus because it honked it's horn, then spend the next month feeling horrible about it.