You Know You Have PTSD When...

[Anrish]

When you cannot put your anger and disappointment into words - you just stay calm and smile.

 

[Ronin]

When 'it gets better' means nothing to you, but 'you're bloody useful to me alive.' is all the words you need to do to start practicing self care, again. Did anyone say 'alive = useful', let alone 'very useful'?

 

[Friday]

Life whizzes by (how is it December already????).

As long as it's Dec 2013? We're just fine.

ETA... The sudden realization that ^^^ isn't last year. Dagnabit! I was finally "caught up" !!! 1 year behind I can live with. 2 just looks like carelessness.

 

[Friday]

When "what do you want for lunch" sounds like a unsolvable riddle.

Bwaaaahahahahaha. :roflmao:

:shifty: Yes. :cautious:

 

[Friday]

Did anyone say 'alive = useful', let alone 'very useful'?

I'm putting my hands over my ears for this one. No no no no no.

That completely f*cks up several of my very entrenched world views, not to mention cunning plans (Baldrick, that is neither cunning, nor a plan), because it fits way too well with, no. No no no. Dammit. Aaaaaaaaaargh. Motherf*cker.

Have to be alive to be useful? f*ck. f*ck f*ck f*ckity f*ck f*ck f*ck. Voila merde.


***

Ahem.

...when compliments sting, and truth ^^^^ ? Truth causes temper tantrums.

 

[Rosewater]

When your oldest friend asks what you do all day during medical leave & after twenty minutes of trying to explain, you still don't really know.

 

[Ronin]

When .... You don't really know what you've been doing past a few days, you were busy repeating to yourself stuff PTSD forum folks say to just hang in there.

And telling your former buddies to not goddamn leave you like that again.

And telling death to stop being a bitch and go the f*ck away, not even come close. Exit the scene bitch, nothing to see here for you.

And apparently talking to people rationally in the meantime, so ssh, we haven't noticed a thing. ;)

What do you mean, emotional & rational processing aren't two separate worlds. Give me a task I can physically do and I'm on it, self destruction alongside doesn't goddamn count, for Mine & for glory.

 

[Ronin]

2 just looks like carelessness.

In my book two years behind is once as much time to fill with happy life stories, instead of what actually went up. :D It's gaining time, not losing it.

Or: When reclaiming & reimagining your life is an Olympic sport you're the best at, and not even because you want.

 

[Anrish]

@Cashew: We might suggest it as a new Olympic discipline? ....doping is pretty difficult for that one. ;)

When you have "holes" in your memories...and when you panic because you know that your therapist will ask "What did you bring today" and you don't know what to say....

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

When things upset you and you suddenly remember things you wish you hadn't. Things you wish you could forget. Again.

 

[Zef]

. . .when you think you have successfully 'been in the moment' because you spent the next two hours analyzing everything about the moment.

 

[HypnoticallyChaotic]

...when you suddenly realize the reason you love insanity jokes is because you're literally insane and that somehow is actually comforting to you.