Accept This!

[Intrepid]

I've been frustrated with work and my poetry group. The boss is introducing new processes that have everyone spinning, and the poetry presented by others is going violent. I have a lot to say about both these situations, but I don't feel like I'm getting respected for my ideas. When I described this to my therapist she asked how I felt to have my gifts rejected. That shook me up. I didn’t think of what I was doing to address what I see as problems as a gift. I have always thought that it was my fault when I no one paid the right kind of attention to me, but my therapist said that sometimes people don't want what I have to offer. She listed out several reasons this could be true. None of the reasons were about me. Then she asked me where I go when my gifts are rejected. I didn't have to think long. I go where I always go when I feel hopeless. I leave reality for a video game, or some such diversion.

So, what now? I have felt so hopeless when dealing with people. What if my gifts are acceptable, just not universally acceptable? I’ve been black and white about being acceptable. It’s all or nothing. This comes from the PTSD. I have believed that the only way to be safe is to be accepted by everyone. The way my therapist talked about my gifts was not all or nothing. It was really eye opening. I have gifts that are acceptable, even though some people reject them.

This is a big success in the “fear of success” area. I've been working on this for over a year and finally am making some progress. :happy:

 

[scout86]

Thanks for sharing that! Interesting insight and I think it's pretty useful for me too.

 

[The Albatross]

I like this very much, "I have gifts that are acceptable, even though some people reject them." Congratulations Intrepid at your progress!

 

[Hope4Now]

Thanks for sharing this with us. Amazing sometimes how a question or comment like this can shift our perspective.
What you shared is helpful for me, as a poet and artist but also in my regular paying work.