Hi,
Im new here, wanted to introduce myself and why im here.
A lot starts in my childhood.
between age 7 & 10 I was repeatedly abused by two family members, I told my mother who covered it up.
after that one of the abusers left the country and the other left the house, but my mother continued in the form of physical violence and emotional abuse and manipulation.
I cooked, cleaned and was forced to work delivering 8-16 newspaper and pamphlet runs a month. This was my mothers attempt at an income but she insisted us kids do the work to ''earn our fair share". She considered children the property of their parents with no rights until age 18. My home was my prison.
About this time the physical symptoms of Ehlers Danlos syndrome hypermobility type started to manifest. I began to frequently luxate joints, dislocating some occasionally.
I tried to get her to take me to the doctor but she continued to tell me it was all in my head.
for 15 years I suffered severe untreated joint and nerve pain. Pain that I still have to this day.
I blocked out most of my childhood successfully for a very long time but eventually i began remembering. I have been out for ten years now. If I had not met my current partner I would probably have never broken free,
I have seen multiple psychologists and psychiatrists and for ten years I managed it with medication.
2 years ago I was finally diagnosed with c-ptsd after a slew of misdiagnosis of other mental illnesses.
I am still on the waiting list for the biopsy tests for EDS to be formally diagnosed. And I am also being refused disability despite not being able to work.
The Australian welfare system is cruel
But this year I have, with supervision from doctors, gone off 90% of my meds in order to be able to have a baby with my partner.
For the first time in a decade I no longer have the meds as a buffer and im having trouble with ptsd.
I woke up early this morning after a nightmare and suffered a flashback. When I finally manage to get my emotions back under control I was left exhausted.
I don't know if it's normal to be getting flashbacks again after so many years.
The stress of my family continuing to deny my illness is certainly playing a role.
I don't really know how to talk about this stuff, but yeah... I guess thats me
Im new here, wanted to introduce myself and why im here.
A lot starts in my childhood.
between age 7 & 10 I was repeatedly abused by two family members, I told my mother who covered it up.
after that one of the abusers left the country and the other left the house, but my mother continued in the form of physical violence and emotional abuse and manipulation.
I cooked, cleaned and was forced to work delivering 8-16 newspaper and pamphlet runs a month. This was my mothers attempt at an income but she insisted us kids do the work to ''earn our fair share". She considered children the property of their parents with no rights until age 18. My home was my prison.
About this time the physical symptoms of Ehlers Danlos syndrome hypermobility type started to manifest. I began to frequently luxate joints, dislocating some occasionally.
I tried to get her to take me to the doctor but she continued to tell me it was all in my head.
for 15 years I suffered severe untreated joint and nerve pain. Pain that I still have to this day.
I blocked out most of my childhood successfully for a very long time but eventually i began remembering. I have been out for ten years now. If I had not met my current partner I would probably have never broken free,
I have seen multiple psychologists and psychiatrists and for ten years I managed it with medication.
2 years ago I was finally diagnosed with c-ptsd after a slew of misdiagnosis of other mental illnesses.
I am still on the waiting list for the biopsy tests for EDS to be formally diagnosed. And I am also being refused disability despite not being able to work.
The Australian welfare system is cruel
But this year I have, with supervision from doctors, gone off 90% of my meds in order to be able to have a baby with my partner.
For the first time in a decade I no longer have the meds as a buffer and im having trouble with ptsd.
I woke up early this morning after a nightmare and suffered a flashback. When I finally manage to get my emotions back under control I was left exhausted.
I don't know if it's normal to be getting flashbacks again after so many years.
The stress of my family continuing to deny my illness is certainly playing a role.
I don't really know how to talk about this stuff, but yeah... I guess thats me
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