Sufferer Sleepless In Nj

[Deepgreen1969]

Hi. Just a quick introduction. I have had insomnia on and off my whole life with bouts of depression. After having two sick children, the third who spent 3 years in hospitals, I started with crushing anxiety and panic attacks. I have gained 70 lbs during these last 13 years eating as a means to cope. I'm no longer able to cope with everyday events. I haven't slept a full night in decades.

Xanax has helped some in the sleep department but has led to memory issues.
I also have neurological issues that were diagnosed as anxiety induced neuropathy. My sister has been the backbone of my support but her blessed life has become toxic to me and sent me into a crisis last evening. My PTSD is worse than ever.

My insurance has a $5000 deductible and I'm struggling to afford counseling as I'm mainly a stay at home mom. I've been raising kids for two decades and my field is gone. I have a masters degree but have been working for minimum wage. This has sent me into extreme episodes of anxiety. Two kids are about to go to college and the expense is unbearable. I wonder constantly if my life has any purpose at all anymore.

 

[hodge]

Welcome. I also have insomnia. I've been up since 3:30 a.m.

I have no idea what's available in NJ, but here in Minnesota, I qualify for a form of Medicaid specifically for employed people with disabilities. The monthly premium is really inexpensive and they also reimburse me for what comes out of my check for Medicare, as I am on SSD, but I work part-time. I also have a master's degree and my career also basically became obsolete due to the internet. But PTSD came around a little before that and I was struggling to keep working by the time that happened. Anyway, your county health/human services office should be able to tell you whether anything like that is available for you.

Good luck!

 

[Friday]

I fully blame the $2 omelette bar (open from 1am-4am) at our Children's Hospital for 40lbs I gained while my son was inpatient. OMFG. It was exactly what everything except my ass needed at the time. >.< I kept trying to get a parents gym tucked away in a broom closet, somewhere, but then things would go all emergent & I'd forget, or we'd go home for a few weeks without nursing care, and :wtf: Sleep? What's that? I'm doing hourly vitals around the clock! And then back we'd go inpatient. A few more weeks of omelets later? (So. So. Good.) Oh. Damn. I forgot. Hey! Anyone get the gym going while we were... No? Damn.

I swear, though, some of the best sleep I ever get is with happy little beeps in the background telling my sleeping self that everyone's still breathing.

Welcome to the forums :)

 

[Deepgreen1969]

Thanks for trying to help. I only work 8 hours a week so don't qualify for any programs. NJ has strict and high requirements. I'm not sure I'm capable of finding a job where I work more. I'm exhausted 24 hours a day and called in sick today.

 

[Deepgreen1969]

Thanks for the reply and for trying to help. I only work 8 hours a week so based on NJ standards I don't even qualify for unemployment, more less disability. Some days I am so exhausted I can't even work the 8 hours. I called in sick today. When I am in a bad way I just want to stay in bed all day. Breathing is too much effort.

 

[hodge]

So sorry, Deepgreen. I can usually only manage about 20 hours a month, if that. My symptoms have spiked this summer after my husband's heart attack in May, and I haven't been able to manage even that much lately.