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Time To Say Goodbye??

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Blackjack

Blackjack

Silver Member
I hate to say it but I am thinking that maybe it is time for me to say goodbye to the forum.

I have 'met' some lovely and wonderful people, some with amazing stories, some who have achieved incredible things. However, this has made me realise that my story is so insignificant. I am just terribly sad and depressed right now on top of the PTSD. I am struggling terribly with my shoulder injury and being so incapacitated by it. I am permanently worried and anxious about my dad who is in a care home. I cannot talk to my family, have had a lot of friends walk away from me since my diagnosis and I have noticed recently that if I go into chat people seem to disappear, probably because I am so miserable, sad, down and hard work.

I am so sorry for how I am right now, I don't want to be so sad and miserable but I can't help it and just feel the forum would be better off without my constant moaning and wingeing. I don't know what to do with myself, I hate myself, I am incredibly lonely, horribly needy and don't want to inflict me on everyone else as its not fair. I just want someone to hold me close, tell me they understand and want to be there for me but it's never going to happen.
 
No! Don't go @Blackjack !

Now is when you need the forum more than ever.

It's never about how bad it was for you versus someone else. There is no such thing as "I didn't suffer enough."

Trauma just is. And we all need to heal from it. Doesn't matter what it was or how bad it is—that affects the trajectory of our healing, but it does not affect the fact that we need to heal. That we need support.

We all share sad stories, we all whine and complain, we all freak out, but that's part of healing. Hell, I think I posted three anxiety threads within 48 hours about relatively minor stuff, yet nevertheless my anxiety had overclocked itself regardless.

You are doing nothing wrong.

Please stay.

:hug:
 
Please don't leave!! Your story IS significant. Thinking people are leaving chat because you join is a really common cognitive distortion, personalization. It's just part of depression - your thoughts aren't accurate and they're not your fault. Just because you're miserable and sad right now doesn't mean you'll always be, and we love you regardless of your mood. You're not hard work either, since the only one who can change your mindset is you when you're ready. We're here to support you every step of the way until you're exuberant. I'm with @Ava Jarvis. Stay!!!
 
I too am curious as to how you feel leaving the forum would be more productive for your healing.

I've had two major breaks here, probably for about 4-8 months each or so, and they were good breaks, but they weren't really intentional. I just got busy doing other stuff. Later, my symptoms would worsen, and/or I would really be feeling like I needed a support group that understood, and I became active again.

On a smaller scale, I will sometimes take two days off to commit my time elsewhere. That's healthy, too, I find.

I wouldn't worry about making people disappear in chat. If people don't like you and go on to other things, they're doing the correct thing to regulate their own exposure to stress, thereby preventing a counterproductive response. If this really concerns you, maybe you would feel better sticking to the forums until you are able to interact with others without taking their actions personally.

Usually, though, I find people just get busy or distracted, and that's why they disappear from conversation.
 
Thank you for your lovely comments folks, I am very humbled by your kind words.

Muse and Simply Simon it's not that I feel it would be better for me, far from it, I just thought everyone else might prefer it.

I really am not coping at all, with anything, and feel like I am just heading for the edge of a cliff but can't stop it. I am back to feeling really poorly both physically and mentally again, am exhausted, in a lot of pain and just desperately want to just stay in bed all day. I guess I just thought people might prefer it if I went.

Thank so much once again xxx
 
Your trauma is your truth, nobody else's. It's not insignificant at all.
I completely understand how you feel in that respect, there are times when you want to isolate yourself . That's ok. But don't leave, just take a break. It will be important for you to know that we're here.
And we need you. Truly.

:hug:
 
Blackjack said:
Muse and Simply Simon it's not that I feel it would be better for me, far from it, I just thought everyone else might prefer it.
Click to expand...

Fortune-telling doesn't do anybody any good. Also, are you here to make other people happy, or are you here because you are intent on bettering your own life and furthering your healing? Commit to your own, not others', happiness. It will serve you better. We support one another, but we are all here to invest in our own circumstances.
 
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