"don't argue with me!!"

[ladee]

Those are the words that flew out of my GP's mouth today when I was telling her why I wanted off of Klonopin. I was trying to tell her it is making my depression worse and being a recovering addict, I had concerns about it being ...... and BLAM, before I could finish my sentence... that is what she said, loudly and a tad angry!! She has never spoken to me like that, ever ! She has been my GP for over 10 yrs.
I started seeing her right after I was relocated after Hurricane Rita... and I was a mess. Can you imagine the rolling ball of PTSD symptoms that showed up in her office that first time!!!! I was crying my eyes out when she came into the exam room, had been that way for days. Told her my situation, that I had PTSD and needed to get my meds started again.
Long story short, about two years ago, I was going thru a rough patch and couldn't sleep, my anxiety level was thru the roof, and my antidepressant was just not enough... she put me on Klonopin... I used it fairly regularly for about 6 months, then tapered off and only used it when I hadn't slept for days, and when all my 'tricks' for managing the anxiety wasn't working. Not a drug I took on a regular basis..
The last 6 months of working before I retired were ,again, a rough few months... started taking it more regularly but could not stand the way I was feeling... the helping me sleep was ok... it was all the other crap I was having trouble with....
And since retiring, I have really noticed how depressed I was getting after taking the Klonopin. Then I came here. Validation about this drug all over the forum.
The rest of her little rant was about her being a Pharmaceutic(Not sure if I have that part right, correct me if I am wrong!) for the past 11 years and Klonopin was NOT addictive and , I didn't even listen to the rest of it..
First of all, I am the first to admit that any Dr is human.. She seemed stressed and preoccupied... that's all good... I get that... and I didn't feel it was the right time to address this with her..But I will !!!
Any suggestions on how to approach her about this? First of all, she doesn't get to speak to me that way, that I know how to address. But too many of us have had nothing but nightmare experiences with that damned med.
This isn't about me being 'right', it is about her being ignorant and dispensing something she is apparently clueless about. I asked for , and got, Buspar. I will see how that works... because her suggestion was Ativan... uhhh no.... same thing as Klonopin but not as strong..deep sigh.
So any suggestions would be appreciated. I really don't want to print out every warning on the internet about this drug and hand to her... something more simple perhaps? Thanks in advance.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Thats rather odd for any GP in any State being you are an admitted addicted and its a benzo. Being a benzo, its a depressant so making depression worse, I can see that. Maybe (a big maybe) shes worried about your anxiety? I know my PDoc thinks I need to tier off of Xanax (a benzo nonetheless) and i dont have withdrawls so dont and she insists and i say ok and still dont.

I dont know how they come but if they are breakable can you tier yourself? Let her perscribe it and break them, take them less, sort of tier yourself down slowly on them or do they have to be prescribed less? Im only asking as ive done that with several meds when the Dr didnt or i couldnt ask to be tiered down on them. You know you and your body and your mental health better than anyone, including your GP!

As to how to approach her. That im unsure of. Id maybe write it down, let your emotions settle a bit and calmly state to her that you know that your depression is getting worse and are just concerned that its causing it and ask again to be tiered down. I would, though, bring up that the way she spoke made you feel uncomfortable. Maybe she brought personal stress into work. My therapist told me he had to be on anxiety meds once while practicing so therapists have mental health concerns too. Maybe it was just a stress slip?

I dont know but im so sorry that happened! :hug:

 

[ladee]

I am off the Klonopin. I still need something for the times I can't get my anxiety under control. I do not want to take them and I won't. I asked for Buspar, so will try that when I need it , and see how it goes. Thanks for answering.

 

[Stickler]

100 mg/Benadryl?

 

[ladee]

Benadryl makes me sooooo sleepy.... I would use it in an emergency..

 

[ladee]

Because I was rambling in my first post, I felt I didn't make myself clear. What my question is... how can I address with my GP that she is totally wrong about the addictive nature of Klonopin, the side effects, and what a powerful and misused drug it is... or should I just let it go?

 

[joeylittle]

You don't need to educate her about Klonopin in a general sense. All you need to do is talk about how it makes you feel, which is not in line with what it's supposed to do for you.

It sounds like that got lost in the bigger concerns about Klonopin, and in what was an outsized reaction from her, probably due to something unrelated. Definitely not her finest hour, from the way you describe it.

It honestly doesn't sound like you are using it at dependency levels - but if it's causing more anxiety than addressing anxiety, and/or hits your mood poorly, you aren't getting what you need out of it.

Can you up your skills in terms of non-pharma interventions for high anxiety?

 

[lostforgottensoul]

** i wrote this last night but apparently fell asleep before i hit post **

I am off the Klonopin.

Oh, Im sorry, I must of miss understood.

I dont know what Buspar is but something to help is better than nothing. The anxiety app i have has been a lifesafer but there are those severe peaks that it wont work on.

 

[ladee]

@joeylittle , thanks for the feedback. I so rarely used Klonopin.. and do use my learned skill to help with the anxiety. I guess in retrospect it was a stupid post on my part. I used a lot of words to cover up what I was really upset about. Her treating me as if I am stupid.. calling me down like a child. That is my real issue here. I got another med, will see how it works... won't go down that road with her. My issue, my job to find my solution.
I do get weary of being on the slippery slope and still, apparently, not having the words to express what is going on with me... a work in progress !! Thanks again.

 

[scout86]

I guess in retrospect it was a stupid post on my part. I used a lot of words to cover up what I was really upset about. Her treating me as if I am stupid..

I don't think it was a stupid post. I think that's a real issue that most people would actually have. Even most "normal" people. I think she made a mistake. Not an "end of the world" mistake. But a mistake. How her mistake made you feel might have been colored by your own issues, but being able to see that and work with it is a good thing and part of the healing process. Isn't it?

 

[ladee]

Thank you @scout86 ! I have very little patience with myself for not taking the time to get clear about what I am trying to say.. or what is really going on with me... But I do realize now what it was... someone in 'authority', not letting me speak or disagree... It didn't trigger me tho... so, hey, progress!!! Thanks for you gentle support. Much appreciated.

 

[Justmehere]

Glad you posted, it helps me to know I'm not alone in this struggle with doctors and others. I just dealt with an arrogant pushy helping professional yesterday. Have you thought about writing her a letter?

I find that validating the desire to help really helps soften the walls of a "helper" who got pushy and rude. Something like, "I really appreciate your help for all these years, and I know how much you want to help me now..." Then I'll say, "it would really help me if in the future you can..." (speak in a calmer voice, explain things more, do xyz....)

Sometimes it gets the message across without so much defensiveness from the previously obnoxious helping authority figure.