Who Would I Be?

[Snowflake]

I sometimes feel that part of me who wants to be free from the trauma -but I am not sure who I would be without it. If you were free of your trauma and fully embodied to your true self, who would you be?

 

[trying2movefwd]

:tdown:

 

[SoSadGuilty]

I sometimes feel that part of me who wants to be free from the trauma -but I am not sure who I would...

Who would you like to be @Snowflake?

I'd like to be someone who could regulate their emotions well and who was able to do an ordinary job and feel satisfied with my life. I'd like to be someone who doesn't feel gut wrenching anxiety over every little challenge in their life. I'd like to be someone who felt loved by their parents and has a relationship with their siblings. I'd like to be someone who didn't feel everything was their fault.

 

[Snowflake]

Who would you like to be @Snowflake?

I'd like to be someone who could regulate...

Yep-sounds like me. I want a relationship with my siblings. I want to wake up-without wondering if I could make it through the day without hurting myself. I don't want to feel guilt or shame. I want to love and be loved. I want to be able to take a shower and enjoy it or a bath without a trigger or seeing a damaged body. I want to brush my teeth 2x or 3x without gagging. I want to be at peace with me and my life.

 

[SoSadGuilty]

Yep-sounds like me. I want a relationship with my siblings. I want to wake up-without wondering if I...

I know lots of members have told you this and I know I've told you this before but I'm going to say it again. YOU @Snowflake have NOTHING, ZERO, ZIP, ZILCH to feel guilty and ashamed of. You were appallingly treated as an innocent child. If I could hug you I would. I would hug you even if you were as fat and smelly and disgusting as you think you are. I would hug you and I would say you deserve to love and be loved. I would do that because you have suffered enough and deserve.some peace.

 

[trying2movefwd]

I would like to be a confident woman who knew how to balance her life well. A woman who has a. Career and isn't triggered by a million different things. I would like to be the woman who never needs a psychiatric hospital or psychiatrist. I would like to be responsible, have a better memory, I want to be a woman with an incredibly healthy sexual lifestyle. A fantastic Mom. I just want to be normal, have normal friendships, relationships, good self-esteem. A real Father and Mother not the kind I had. Shix I just wish I knew how to have a healthy relationship with males and folks in authority.

 

[Snowflake]

I would like to be a confident woman who knew how to balance her life well. A woman who has a. C...

I wish I knew what a healthy relationship was or looked like or felt like. I wish I knew what a life without trauma or memories was like,

 

[Snowflake]

I would hug you even if you were as fat and smelly and disgusting as you think you are. I would hug you and I would say you deserve to love and be loved. I would do that because you have suffered enough and deserve.some peace.

You have such a good memory of things i have said . :)

 

[SoSadGuilty]

You have such a good memory of things i have said . :)

Well of course I remember them, your feelings and words are important. You were so kind to me when I first joined the forum. I just wish I could do more to help you. I wish I could do more to help lots of people on here.

 

[Friday]

If you were free of your trauma and fully embodied to your true self, who would you be?

The same person I am, now.

Being symptom free doesn't change who I am.

 

[Snowflake]

The same person I am, now.

Being symptom free doesn't change who I am.

I stated the question poorly-i apologize. Yes we would be the same person but I was curious in what ways would we be different or what we would hope for.

 

[trying2movefwd]

I know, I don't know what healthy looks like either. :(