The Sudden End

[SherryAnn]

She had said before... our termination would be done right.... I wish she'd offer me a session to say s...

When my therapist and I do a review my spiritual happiness no matter what I believe is an important question from 1 to 10 on that review sheet. I am sure a therapist is supposed to remain neutral about their clients beliefs.xx

 

[SherryAnn]

She felt judged and it upset her. She said as much in the letter. But... she's missing the point, she's...

It sounds like she thought you were challenging her or baiting her into discussing your differing beliefs when you were only telling her how you were staying inspired during a rough period. Maybe its best if you part ways if she is reading into what you say and seeing it as a personal challenge on beliefs.xx

 

[Leah123]

Holding? That would be definately weird and uncomfortable in my therapy sessions even with a female t...

My therapist does not physically hold me. In fact, we only do online and phone therapy, it's a long distance arrangement. What I mean by holding is containing my experience, giving me a safe space to be myself and being warm and compassionate when I need it. Holding meaning.... to keep track of me and my story, to.... be a storehouse for our work. :)

 

[Leah123]

It sounds like she thought you were challenging her or baiting her into discussing your differing...

Yes, that's exactly what she thought. She said she was surprised by the vehemence of my words and that I was saying "you" a lot so she felt judged/attacked. I get that. She didn't handle it properly though and that's my issue. I've told her it's unacceptable to jab at me the way she did and she apologized for her remarks and said she acknolwedged her part in our rupture and would do her best to improve and gave me some concrete changes she would make. Time will tell if it will work... I hope it does.... I have a lot invested, but... I'll leave if I need to, sad as that would be, and difficult.

 

[Leah123]

It depends on the context in which she was saying what she said. Since I wasn't there, it's hard to judge,...

I wasn't asking for a referral to another therapist. She said she knew of research that proved my beliefs were harmful. I asked her to share the research with me because I was skeptical and wanted to review it myself, and she wrote to me: "Google it. You are not helpless! I have to go."

Eventually, after I'd explained to her what went wrong that session a couple days later and we'd started to work through it, I got pissed about her talking to me like that and the other things she'd said and the timing and tone- I basically demanded she stay more professional. Usually it's not an issue, but I don't want it to be an issue at all.

 

[Riot]

@Leah123, yeah, that was a good move--to demand professionalism. It sounds like a really sucky situation. :(

 

[SherryAnn]

Yes, that's exactly what she thought. She said she was surprised by the vehemence of my words and that...

All the best.xxx I truly hope it all works out for you no matter what happens

 

[SherryAnn]

My therapist does not physically hold me. In fact, we only do online and phone therapy, it's a long dis...

Aaahhhhh ok my bad I misunderstoodyes its still good to have a phone session if you cant be tgere in person

 

[Deleted member 12723]

From what you have said about her expressing her beliefs to justify and tell you that you are wrong is a red flag for me to get away from this therapist and find one that better helps you. I know easier said than done, but from what you have shared she appears to be pushing her beliefs on you and judging and condemning you. I realize that I do not know the whole situation, but I am just going on based what you have shared.

 

[Leah123]

From what you have said about her expressing her beliefs to justify and tell you that you are wrong is a...

She also said several times that she did accept and respect my beliefs, but what happened, it seems to me, was that when she got to feeling defensive, she played devil's advocate in an unprofessional way. I consider it unprofessional not that she wanted to examine my beliefs but the way she did it: her timing, her tone, her digression. I also had a hard time taking in that she accepted and respected my beliefs at the time, it just wasn't sinking in.

She seemed to understand the disconnect/rupture better after I went over it again and... I hope she does, I hope it's sunk in how she loses the frame. She's told me she's going to manage the time in our sessions better because when things go this far wrong (which isn't common) it's usually in an uncommon, very long session and she's tired. I hope she can take the step back she needs to: she's also adding a little more structure to our sessions so hopefully that will help us both along with the changes I'm making, like giving us 2 weeks to work through these ruptures before ending therapy, letting her know a little more when I get stuck what's going on (the issue about beliefs was preceded by a very hard session where I was already having a really rough week and then was stalling out in therapy), and taking a break when that happens, a small regrouping break.

 

[joeylittle]

I'm curious - and you don't have to answer. Is this about a religious/spiritual belief, or a medical belief, or a social, or political belief, or...?

It sounds like you are handling it well, but if it's at all central to the work you are doing on yourself, I don't know that it won't be a problem again. If it's tangential, that's different.

 

[Leah123]

I'm curious - and you don't have to answer. Is this about a religious/spiritual belief, or a medica...

It's about a spiritual belief that I practice through diet and other ways.