Trigger Unknown

[Thizette]

My partner and I went to church last Sunday and as soon as we got in and sat down I started panicking. My legs were shaking and my breathing was heavy and I couldn't say a thing. We stood for the first hymn--we usually share a hymnal--and I dropped my half after barely mustering the first few words and just stood there staring at the page. Then we sat down, the shaking and breathing got worse, and all I could do to communicate was grab his leg. I managed to get it under control, but then I had to step out for most of the service and just sat in the hallway until the last hymn.

The problem is, I have no idea what triggered it. Usually it's obvious, but Sunday it wasn't. We just moved, so we'd been to this church once before and I was fine outside of some new-people anxiety and one weird incident with an old man. We were really involved with the church where we used to live and I'm not having a crisis of faith (my religion has no dogma) and the people that I'd met the week before were all really nice. There weren't any sudden noises or creepy goings on. No hard topics being discussed. I literally have no idea what happened. It's terrifying. Even more so because it was probably the worst and longest lasting panic attack I've had in years and I can't identify a trigger. I have no idea how to feel or think or what to do about this. Advice and insight are welcome.

 

[Tinyflame]

Sometimes it takes a while to identify a trigger, takes time. then it will make sense.

 

[heyheyhey]

Hello,

I'm so sorry, that sounds absolutely terrifying :(!! Maybe it was an internal trigger? Something very quick that flashed in your mind in response to being somewhere new or some old association?

Sometimes I get triggered and panicky somewhere and the next day I'm absolutely fine, so it may not necessarily happen next time you are at church. It can be really worrying and upsetting when it's someplace you normally feel safe though :(.

To manage the panic, I do some deep breathing and then try and 'act' out the feeling as much as possible; tapping my leg etc. Hard to describe, as pretty exhausted, but basically I use some Somatic Experiencing techniques - I think "what does my body want to do?" and then, as much as the situation allows - I act out the fear or panic. When I am home alone this normally involves kickboxing moves or some freestyle yoga moves - I just let the feeling move my body and it really processes and releases the anxiety - sounds kooky but it's really, really effective for me.

Other times I use self-soothing with some arm strokes - it helps me alot (though when I'm dissociating it makes me feel a bit worse until I've calmed myself down through 'acting it out').

 

[Tinyflame]

It can be really worrying and upsetting when it's someplace you normally feel safe though :(.

Yes.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Hi, I too have struggled with free floating anxiety attacks but they are almost not such an extreme problem for me anymore.

I have no advice, but I have experienced anxiety a lot in my adult life for the last six years. I would get anxiety attacks and could not trace them back to anything at all. Sometimes they would just hit me hard and I had to do a lot of exposure therapy to overcome them. I sure hope that you take really good care of yourself and treat yourself afterwards to some comfort in what ever form works for you.

I am sure that someone more knowledgeable will come along to assist you.

 

[Thizette]

@heyheyhey acting it out for me would usually be violent, so I don't. I opt for the flight response and try to leave the situation. Sit in the closet or under a table or, as was the case this Sunday, in the hallway. I hadn't thought about internal triggers. I wish I could remember what I was thinking about.

@gizmo thanks for validating my need for a treat. Sometimes in all the business, self care gets lost.

 

[heyheyhey]

@heyheyhey acting it out for me would usually be violent, so I don't. I opt for the...

So sorry, it sounds horrible - really hope it gets better for you.

 

[BuckarooBanzai]

Well, you'd just moved house. That generally implies pretty much everything in your life is new.

This could just be some generalized anxiety due to the move.

Ben

 

[Thizette]

Well, you'd just moved house. That generally implies pretty much everything in your life is new....

Fair point. It just took a week for it all to hit me, I guess.