Choices

[Lovealways]

Has anyone ever blamed themselves for your misfortunes? Do u ever daydream what life would be like if you didn't make a shitty choice?

 

[Elevatorguy]

All the time

 

[NoWhereKnowWhere]

Yep. Should've, could've, would've.

 

[Killashandra]

Yep all the time. I'm brutal sometimes on my self for the choices I've made. Some of them were my choice, some where guided by the trauma I have suffered from and the way I grew up. Yes I should be accountable for all my actions which makes it hard to be kind on myself, unless I actively attempt to correct those thoughts that cause me to make shit choices I'll continue to kick myself up the ass so to speak.

My favorite daydream is what if I grew up in a loving family,.. a multitude of futures of different choices open up... I daydream of being , an air steward, travelling, teaching, having more than 1 great friend, the concerts and restaurants I would visit, the total satisfaction of liking who I am. Etc etc etc.

 

[Silver.]

The things that we control, that we screw up? I think about the other outcomes, sure. But I also think about how I can learn from it, how to change. Doesn't stop me from thinking "what if"...a lot...(ptsd doesn't let me forget or stop ruminating)
I like to think we have a set path in life, but there are side roads that we often chose to take, or are forced to take, but they all eventually lead back to our set path, some roads are just a lot worse than others.

 

[Ronin]

Depends.

I made the right choices. I'm alive.

All the rest? Whispers in the wind.

(Greyzone that's other people & choices about other people is too tangled for me to tackle, right now. I tend to think of their own agency & some things outside of the influence of all of us, at times 'just' shit luck, where in doubt. Back to 'My own choices? I may regret, but wouldn't change them, as they landed me in the now. Alive enough. Well enough.'.)

 

[Snowflake]

Yes -all the time!

 

[Lovealways]

I didn't ask for it so y did it happen to me???

 

[Snowflake]

I didn't ask for it so y did it happen to me???

I ask myself the same question every minute of everyday

 

[NoWhereKnowWhere]

I think everyone does but for the average joe it's a really unfortunate hair cut, failed relationships, bad investments so on. Where as for us it's a shit ton worse, and we have to remember it all the time in dreams, flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, etc.

 

[Friday]

Guilt by association ;) I was there, it's on me.

Not exactly the most rational thing to do, but I do it nonetheless.

It's a durn sight more rational, and at least a smidge less egotistical, than blaming myself for things I wasn't there for. Do that one, too.

 

[Tinyflame]

Self-guilt or self-blame, or impact on another, yes, everything else, no. To me there is nothing tht presuposes something good will happen to me, nor shields or excludes me from the bad. The past is over, so no relevance for why. Some of the why's I conributed to., by my choices, whether ill or desperate or maladaptive or just unaware. Best I could do at the time, & without hope or help, or even if bad for myself.