Why Do Only Certain People Get Answers On Here?

[Ogaj]

Or is that just what it seems like?

 

[Zetezu]

I have seen this asked a few times. Sometimes people are busy, sometimes they don't see new posts, sometimes they don't have an answer. This thread is often replied when people ask this question:
https://www.myptsd.com/threads/how-...d-responding-to-your-threads.1646/#post-31113

 

[Fulufo]

It's extremely rare in my observation for any thread to have zero responses.

This may help if you're not getting the kind of response you're looking for.
How Do I Get Responses To My Threads?

 

[Mawi]

Can only answer for myself, but generally for me it has nothing to do with the who of the thread, but the how. As in how it is written, not who has written it.

Threads I generally don't look at at all

• Ones with clickbait titles. ie. Ones that pose half a question in the title and trail off into dotdotdot to give you the remainder of the question in the post, without giving any indication at all in the title of what the post is going to contain or what it is even generally about.
• Similarly posts with really vague titles like 'Why?' or 'What am I doing wrong?' without giving any indication of the subject matter.

There's a couple of reasons why I don't tend to look at these. Partly because if I can't easily guess the subject matter from the title, then I don't know what I'm opening up and whether I might be triggered by it. If I have some idea in advance I can prepare myself. Partly because if I'm limited for time, I'm going to prioritise posts that I think I might have something constructive to add to or might be relevant to me. Making the subject matter obvious in the title helps me decide that.

Threads I'm unlikely to respond to

• Ones that have no clear question or intent - some people want input, some people just want to vent, some people want suggestions, others want sympathy....if it's not clear what type of response you want, or what questions you want people to answer, then I'm unlikely to respond - although sometimes I will respond to ask people to clarify what they want (some people don't like that though!)
• If I have nothing useful to offer, if someone else has already said what I would say, if the subject turns out not to be something relevant to me, or something I don't have enough experience with to answer - I don't tend to respond. Some things for example can be country specific, or people are only looking for responses from people who have experienced similar trauma etc
• Ones that read like diary entries but are posted in other sections - which ties in with the first one really - I'm unsure what people are looking for from these types of post

So, short version - it's not personal....not from me anyway....It usually just boils down to clarity, or lack of it.

 

[Opom]

Or is that just what it seems like?

I think that's just what it seems like. It's an international forum, everyone is on at different times, so you have to be willing to wait a bit. And, sometimes it's really hard to tell what the person is asking in their OP. It's helpful if a post finishes with some kind of prompt...like, "does anyone else go through this", "any suggestions for how to work on this", "I'd just like support on this"....whatever you think you need. Posts that are just statements are harder to respond to.

 

[Lilaz]

It's funny as this is probably the one site I have been on where people always get a reply. Its a busy site and well structured. Less or more can happen for many reasons, As others have said it can be because of how readable they are. But also just chance and who is around and if they are up to it. Graphic content? A few people will avoid. Vague content? Some won't answer. I answer if I'm able and if I feel I might have something relevant to say.

I would check if you generally fall into counting and comparing. If you are someone who does this a lot you are likely to be injuring yourself. Making yourself more unhappy than you need to be.

 

[Lujaja]

It's rare that I see posts on here that don't have any replies.

As others have said, there are numerous reasons why a post may get fewer responses (I won't repeat all the same reasons!) And I do think that the reasons are more about the post than the poster. There are also some times/days where there is more traffic. I think weekends here are often quieter and, as others have said, there are lots of different time zones among the users, so sometimes there is a bit of a lag.

Key thing where i will now repeat what others have said - try to make it clear somewhere in your post what you are posting for - what you want/need from other members. Are you looking for advice, support, suggestions, validation, to know that you're not alone with your experience, someone to challenge you...? Or are you simply using your post to vent/get stuff out - a perfectly valid use of a post but one that probably won't get you many responses because there's not really much for anyone to do/say in response to a vent!

 

[Adeca]

Lilaz here again. Following on from what I said about graphic content. Difficult topics can be included in that. Not everyone is going to feel OK about answering immediately. Or at all. People have their own stuff to manage or handle. They have to judge what they can manage and when. Many sites have a substantial amount of threads that never get answered, I think you need to examine your reaction to this.

 

[Kuwu]

Lujaja here again. I guess just to add to my post above: perhaps a time when the poster is relevant as well as the post - there are obviously members who have been here a long time and/or have contributed a lot to the board and who have therefore developed some board presence and relationships with other members. Their posts are always likely to get responses because they have formed relationships, so those other members will likely reply to them. So, perhaps (though I'm not sure it does actually happen like this) newer members may not get as many responses as more established members until they have been present a bit and made some connections...?

Also: personally, I am probably less likely to respond to a member who only ever posts things when they need something but who doesn't really reply to others' threads. Or to members who don't ever acknowledge replies (the 'like' button is important!) Posting here is a two-way process for me, so those who look like it's only one way...I'm probably less likely to engage.

 

[Kavanan]

Lilaz here for a third time!
You make good points Lulaja. I think all these factors are relevant. I have a history of posting and supporting and getting nothing back in life and online but I try not to feed that type of self serving behaviour now. Sadly I am guilty of not pushing like or answering sometimes. Not because I don't a[[appreciate it and rather because I go into this paranoid shutdown after posting sometimes. I hate myself for it. Have avoided posting before as I feel its unfair if I may not be able to acknowledge others.

 

[Asafe]

Lilaz: I hear you - I have certainly had times when I've started a thread, got some replies and then needed to go and process/shutdown for a bit :-)

OP'ers who post a thread, then disappear into the ether (so you don't know if they read any replies, what they thought about any replies, whether they got what they needed etc) and then reappear next time they want to get responses by creating a new thread and then repeating the same behaviour...that's what I mean really...

I definitely don't expect to get liked, thanked or acknowledged every time I post something ;-)

Lulaja

 

[Efu]

Lulaja, Thanks! :) My behaviour probably looks more like : post on others threads and support them. Post my own then run and hide and struggle to go back to them, then... Post on others threads! :alien: