Please Help Me Im So Scared

[brokenarrow]

About 5 days ago I woke up and I went out into my living room. It was really hot in my house and I started sweating. My wife was also sweating as were our kids. Well some how I decided to turn that into a panic attack. Since then I have barley been able to eat and when I do I feel nausea. I got a very mild pain in my upper right side on that day and I have been CONVINCED that I have appendicitis. I have talked to people that did have it (including my mother) and they all tell me that my symptoms are nothing like what they had, but I can not convince myself to stop. I have diarrhea, severe general anxiety which usually leads to shaking (chills as some would call it) and now the pain is usually in my lower right side back. Almost in my butt. I notice it is ALOT worse if I'm at work ( due to the fact my anxiety is much higher I would assume) and I notice that it is usually worse at night. None of the pain has been too bad, but it comes and goes and its scaring the crap out of me. I must have ran about a thousand laps around my back yard to try to calm myself down. I did a bunch of sit-ups to try to convince myself that I don't have it. Doing the sit-ups didn't hurt at all but that still didn't work. The anxiety is the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing I think about before I am finally able to sleep. The weird thing is, if I sit down or lay down, the pain almost instantly either goes completely away or atleast cuts back very very far. I can feel the gas moving around in my stomach and a couple times I thought I was going to throw up, but I never have. I work myself up to the point where I actually sweat and then I calm down and I almost instantly dry up. I know that there is a very very high chance that this is either IBS or just a complete panic attack but I guess my main question that I have is can someone help me break the cycle? I know I need to eat something but I'm so scared that if I do I will throw it up. I hardly allow myself 5 minutes peace through out the day. I'm either in "pain" or I'm going nuts that I'm going to be in "pain." When I first wake up in the morning I don't have any pain at all and then I basically force myself into it and I freak out for the rest of the day. Tonight I have been alittle bit better. I drank a decent amount of water and I ate some chips and some candy ( I know that isn't the healthiest but its better then the 'nothing' I have eaten for the past atleast 2 if not 3 days.) I keep going on all these websites and looking up all the symptoms and then it's "OMG I have that" and if I don't have it I basically talk myself into having it not too long after. Basically I just want my life back. I'm getting almost no sleep at all. I wake up with violent chills and gas and then I freak out because I'm convinced that chills are a sign of appendicitis and then I calm myself down and the chills go away. I've had basically constant bloating in my right side for going on a week now. I do all the regular tests ( push on it and see if it hurts when I let go, going up on my tip-toes and then dropping to the floor, raising my right knee up to my chest) and I have no pain when doing that, but I just have this constant pressure feeling. This morning (9/15) I woke myself up out of a sound sleep (after sleeping for about a whole whopping 2 hours) to a case of the chills REALLY bad and some how going outside where it was much colder and doing some deep breathing calmed me down to the point that I am able to sit here and write this. Please help me.

 

[scout86]

Have you considered going to a doctor?

 

[brokenarrow]

I considered it but I'm so scared for what they are going to tell me. I'm almost 30 and I have never had surgery in my life. Well other then having excess skin removed from my ear as a new born. I am at my wits end freaking out that I can't handle surgery and blah blah. Thats really the main cause of my fear. I don't care about all the symptoms or any feelings of discomfort. My main fear is the hospital and having to have any procedures done.

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

you might get a carbon monoxide detector from home depot or lowes, this could be from a small slow leak of CM that is enough to make you all sick but not enough to kill you. Such things only get worse.

 

[brokenarrow]

I do have a carbon monoxide detector in my house and it has not shown any abnormal readings.

 

[Silver.]

I can tell you that it is not appendicitis. That pain only gets worse and exercise will not make it better.
It really just sounds like a pulled muscle, which will start to feel better with exercise.
You really need to see a doctor, as you are aware, it's not safe to try to diagnose yourself, especially when you suspect you have hypochondria. There is no reason to think that you need surgery.
It sounds like you have a lot going on so I would advise you to get a therapist to talk to. They will help you sort things out and teach you ways of coping with the stress and anxiety. Do you have ptsd? or are you here because of the anxiety?
take care

 

[brokenarrow]

Well, I guess you could call it PTSD but it may be a bit of a stretch. From what I see the definition of PTSD is panic attacks from a traumatizing life event. About 10 years ago I was very heavy into drugs. Mostly weed but I messed with other things here and there. Well one night I got some weed that was laced with something and I had the worst night of my life. I thought for sure I was going to die. Erratic heartbeat, massive chest pains, sweating bullets, major headache, dizziness, nausea and everything else. That was when my attacks really started. I stopped all the drugs cold turkey and had pretty bad attacks almost every night for about 5 years that I was having a heart attack. It really is only just recently that I have been able to almost completely stop them. Then the worst thing that every happened to me happened. My main support system. The one person that helped me through everything. My father. Passed away in April. Since then my anxiety has been eh, rough 2 or 3 MILLION times worse then it ever has been.

 

[Silver.]

That doesn't sound like PTSD, there is a good article here that explains the criteria one must meet in order to be diangosed as PTSD:
https://www.myptsd.com/threads/ptsd-diagnosis.87466/
(it would be nice if my life was just panic attacks really)
But that doesn't mean that you aren't going through a lot. No matter what is going on with you, it is key that you get a therapist, they can help you come up with a proper diagnosis and as I said above, get you on a path to healing. I am sorry for the loss of your father, I lost both my parents when I was 18, it is not easy to lose your parents or anyone for that matter, I think that would be another good reason for you to see a therapist to help you cope

 

[brokenarrow]

I apologize if I am not a PTSD sufferer. Makes me feel kind of out of place here. =\ I just did a google search on anxiety help forums and this is what popped up. Honestly I don't know what would be better, having something that I can say "OK, all my worry and my triggers came from this" or having just general anxiety where you really have no idea why you feel the way you do. I know for sure that I wouldn't wish either one on anyone. I agree I do need to see a therapist. I'm just trying to baby-step towards my ultimate goal of freedom from these feelings. My father was a huge safety net for me and I am basically afraid of everything now that he is gone. My mother left my father on Christmas day when I was 14 and for the last 14+ years of my life it was really just me and him against the world. Now I feel like it is just me against the world.

 

[NicG]

Someone we've always leaned and relied on passing away will always make us feel horrible and anxious and like we can't cope with our lives. Add on some trauma or some pre-existing anxiety condition and you've got a recipe for some serious chaos.
I think that because you're recognising that you're possibly panicking, you're doing better than you think you are. Is there a history of IBS in your family?
What if you went to see a doctor and started off by telling them about all your anxiety surrounding hospitals etc, and then mentioning your pain? Perhaps you could have a conversation about what might be wrong, but also frame it around needing to see a therapist and getting a recommendation of who to talk to. Could your wife help at all in stopping you from "doctor Google"-ing?

 

[Silver.]

It is okay that you might not have PTSD, this is a support forum and you are suffering, that is evident.
When my cousin died a few years ago, I felt the same exact way you do, that my last protector died and it was just me and my child against the world. It can be such a lonely place to be in. You have been through a lot in your life. There are a lot of forum threads here with people that have gone through the same or similar things that you have, I think you will find this place helpful x

 

[brokenarrow]

My wife gets SO mad when I google my symptoms. Honestly, I go out of my way to hide it from her. I will walk away from the computer and say I need to go outside to get the mail or whatever and I will look it up on my phone. I always think I'm going to find something where I can say "oh good I don't have that symptom" but all it ever does is make it worse. I never even experienced the "chills" ever until I saw it on some site that it is a side effect of appendicitis. My wife tries to be there for me but she loses her patients rather easily. Lately I can't really say I blame her. I spend all day freaking out and she is left with the full responsibility of the 2 young kids (2 and 5 months) and the 2 large breed dogs ( pitt and rott) by herself while I spend my entire day hyperventilating and pacing around screaming at her that I have this and that wrong with me.