Surrounded By Trauma Reminders

[EveHarrington]

Yes, this is another thread that's an offshoot of the current American political climate.

I realize that many will think oh you dumb Americans, stop focusing, stop obsessing, stop immersing yourselves in to all! And yes, you are right-----to an extent.

I do indeed take responsibility for paying too much attention to politics. It's been upsetting, but not triggering-----until now. I am actually saying that yes, this is no longer a stressor, it is a trigger.

My CSA was digital rape so the current popular phrase of "grab her by the p****" is triggering to me. I had a word that was triggering to me years ago and it took time (years) to desensitize myself. That word is no longer a trigger. I mention it as this new phrase is becoming a trigger phrase in the same way that other word did------hearing it over and over and over again all the while it causes greater reactions in me.

It's getting hard to avoid. People bring up that damn phrase in conversation with hardly any warning. But it's not just that. It's the complete invalidation of it being nothing but locker room talk. I feel COMPLETELY invalidated because if it's just locker room talk then I guess what happened to me wasn't all that bad, huh? I know this isn't true. I know that not all men are like this. Somehow the invalidation from women feels even worse.

I want to run away. (Common theme of mine.) But for once I have nowhere to run to.

I wrote this hoping to feel better but now the physical pain is kicking in. Blah.

I realize I have to focus on self care. No more political shows. Avoid political conversations. Hide in closet as much as possible. Ok that last one was a joke! Maybe it doesn't seem like I'm that upset but I am. I'm in so much fear of having my trauma randomly thrown in my face again.

And I'm ashamed. When I hear that damn phrase I think that everyone can SEE my trauma------revealed by my deer in the headlights look on my face. I feel frozen, unable to simply request that topic not be discussed.

I can't remember where I'm going with this. Just majorly struggling with hearing constant reminders of my trauma + the non-chalant attitude of many that it's no big deal.

Trying to keep it in perspective. Trying to refocus on myself and self care.

Thanks for reading.

 

[Bloomy]

Reminds me that we recently had a huge debate here in Noway when three men was let free of punishment after drugging and raping a woman. Blaming the whole affair on an person that was clearly unconsciousness. Its not the case itself only that triggered me according to my own traumas, but the responses of half of Noways population. If I had even had a small thought of reporting own case Im glad I didnt cause to be blamed for something so aweful is yet another trauma.

I find it also triggering the case with trumph. I know there is good men ut there. Of course. Its not the case The case for me is that there are so many wicked minded mens and so many that doesnt want to understand the severity of us that unfortunately cross their way. Its triggering for me to live in a society where we seem to be forced that harasment and rape and such is a part of our lives and there is nothing really to do about it.

 

[Friday]

I feel COMPLETELY invalidated because if it's just locker room talk then I guess what happened to me wasn't all that bad, huh?

One of my triggers is coffee+SimpleGreen+industrial carpet. Add those 3 things together and I lose my ever lovin' mind. Is there anything inherantly evil about those 3 things? Nope. Does the complete normalcy of a hot beverage, a common cleaner, & cheap floor coverings in any way indicate the severity of the trauma attached to it? Nope.

Another one of my triggers is wet hair in a helmet. Again, is there any way on planet earth to judge the trauma by the trigger? Nope. There just isn't.

I'm sharing these with you because it's often easier to see how someone else's example work, than our own.

Triggers aren't trauma. Their link to trauma is -literally- in our own minds. How other people view our triggers? Whether it's "just" coffee, or "just locker room talk"? Has no bearing on our past & what happened, or our present & how we're affected.

 

[Sideways]

People using really foul language around me in general makes me feel pretty sick in the gut, and I've found that I usually have a good success rate when I say something simple like, "Please ease up on the obscenities", without becoming a social pariah.

Given this particular phrase is an obscenity in the samd vein, would you have the courage to say something like that when people repeat the statement in conversation with you? Like, "Please don't keep repeating that obscene statement." It doesn't have to be an anti-Trump statement so much as a good old decorum request.

I know that isn't likely to help much with the feelings of invalidation, they often run really deep and are attached to our schemas. But taking some control of other people repeating the sentence may at least help you feel like you have some control over the trigger aspect, possibly?

 

[Gs172003]

Yes, this is another thread that's an offshoot of the current American political climate.

I rea...

It's not freaking locker room talk. It's jerk people using that as an excuse to justify an idiot saying terrible things. I have worked with some pretty vulgur people and have never. Ever. Heard anybody talk like that. Ever.

 

[Gs172003]

Reminds me that we recently had a huge debate here in Noway when three men was let free of punishment af...

That's awful. I don't get it.

 

[Bloomy]

Thats what all to many times happens in Noway and they have recived criticism from UN that they are not takin crimes like this really searious.
In the wake of this case yet another one came up and with the same result.
Now recently we had a case with a group consisting of men and they were reported to have fronted opnions about raping teenager ( a real person and they made the threat directly at her), rapes done by fathers on their prementrual daughters and so forth. This latter case yet again split Noway in half. Half ment that this is not mens culture and the other half ment that we shall all understand that this is just some mens way of humor.....

 

[Gs172003]

Thats what all to many times happens in Noway and they have recived criticism from UN that they are not...

Disgusting

 

[Chitoshi]

@EveHarrington I thought I was the only one struggling with the political climate right now. I actually came on today to look and see if anyone was experiencing stress due to the topics being unearthed and thrown around right now. Even with trying to minimize my exposure, it's been really tough. I'm sorry that it has become a trigger. My reaction so far has only been stress. I hope you have a better rest of your day. :hug: if you need them/want them

 

[Ronin]

It's not a locker room talk.

It's mad rapist talk. Anyone sensible & decent, of any gender, sees that.

I'm sorry this has been happening & is so triggering, @EveHarrington.

 

[EveHarrington]

Thank you very much for the support you have all given me.

I slept away most of the day. I should have done something but alas.

I'm finding comfort in the fact that there are many people who are disgusted by this kind of behavior and the use of such vulgar language.

:hug:

 

[Ronin]

I slept away most of the day. I should have done something

Yes, you should have: fetched some rest.

Congratulation, very accomplished, there ;)