Is She Faking It?

[DarkMarionette]

Maybe its my trust issues or paranoia but what she says doesn't make sense.

How do you know if someone is faking it?

 

[Justmehere]

Faking what?

Why do you suspect her of faking it?

 

[Friday]

Consults Magic 8 Ball

Not enough information.

 

[Gs172003]

Consults Magic 8 Ball

Not enough information.

Hahahahahaha I don't know you but dang it....I love you. Your posts..just...awesome

 

[DarkMarionette]

Sorry for not adding details

That she was sexualy assaulted by a man she was having an affair with and is still in love with him.
After the assault she called everyone and told them what happened.
My ex made her go to the police.
She went into great detail and told me and my ex two different stories.
It was a horrible trigger.

She's only seen a councillor and says she has ptsd and now she's saying she has complex ptsd.
But won't bother going to a psychologist.

She asks in great detail about my own symptoms and experiences.

We live together and she keeps setting herself up for victimisation by bringing men home and letting them sleep in her bed when she knows all to well that they want to sleep with her.
Usually it ends badly and her boyfriend is very understanding apparently.

Maybe I'm just ranting because she makes out she's suffering but doesn't do anything about it or sets herself up for more drama.

I don't want to act like her mother but this is my home too. Its making me very stressed. Feels like a toxic friendship.
Probably sound like a bad person.

 

[Gs172003]

Sorry for not adding details

That she was sexualy assaulted by a man she was having an affair w...

I'm still confused but you can absolutely be assaulted by a man you're in love with. Not sure what you are asking or if you are blaming her?

 

[Muttly]

Well, none of us are going to be able to tell you if she is faking it or not. It seems like the real issues is that she's a roommate and her behaviors and such, are having an impact on you? Does that sound right? If she's triggering you, it seems like it's really important to set up boundaries and keep them. Let's assume she's not faking it. Even if that's the case, you are not responsible for her and don't have to listen to her tell her story. And yes, it can be incredibly frustrating to be around someone who talks about their suffering but doesn't seem to want to fix it, but that just reinforces the importance of boundaries.

Some of this, like the way she's triggering you, is probably good for you to talk with your therapist (if you have one).

 

[Justmehere]

Faking it or not, that's probably between her and her therapist. You don't really have any control over that.

From what you have described, her behavior is congruent and consistent with someone having PTSD and getting stuck in trauma rennactment cycles. It is especially consistent with "complex PTSD" if "complex PTSD" means PTSD plus borderline personality disorder. (There is no consistent complex PTSD diagnosis, but to many professionals complex PTSD can mean PTSD plus BPD or other issues.)

Nothing you describe suggests she is deliberately faking a mental health problem.

Plus, I think anyone with a lot of chaos in their lives who is choosing to fake a major mental illness likely actually has a mental illness of some kind.

And roommates probably should try to diagnose or not diagnose roommates (if I understand right that you are roommates.)

I think you would probably have a lot more success in improving the situation if you focus on what you can control: setting and keeping good boundaries with her.

 

[DarkMarionette]

Thanks everyone for your advice.
Much appreciated

 

[lostforgottensoul]

We live together and she keeps setting herself up for victimisation by bringing men home and letting them sleep in her bed when she knows all to well that they want to sleep with her.
Usually it ends badly and her boyfriend is very understanding apparently.

I dont know if shes lying or not but this, this I do. I go out. I prowl just like i used to be forced to do. I sleep with as many men as i can. Because, in my head, thats what im supposed to and, in my head, thats love.

She's only seen a councillor and says she has ptsd and now she's saying she has complex ptsd.
But won't bother going to a psychologist.

I was forced into therapy because of blind rage explosions. I went to 4 FREE horrible counselors before but i was in denial, i didnt think i needed to be helped. I thought my hell, my life, my issue...no one elses.

She went into great detail and told me and my ex two different stories.
It was a horrible trigger.

My therapist knows it all. The true ONE story. But everyone else gets tiny pieces and if they ask and i dont want to tell them, the story gets altered.

I cant tell you if shes lying. But i can tell you she is acting like someone thats been traumatized.

Now, its your home too and there needs to be boundries surrounding that. But i wouldnt go around doubting her.

 

[Friday]

Sorry for not adding details..

Given that? Is she faking it? Probably not.

Sexual assault victims -regardless of whether they have PTSD or not- tend to go either very promiscuous or very sexually anorexic. Or both.

That said? Neither has anything to do with the price of tea in china. This is your home. If she's crossing your boundaries? You are under no obligation to cut her any slack. You can choose to, but if you're making sacrifices in order to do so? I'd strongly recommend having a sit down with yourself, and try and find where you can be happy -aka not making sacrifices- and then have a sit down with her and lay out what you can live with, and what you can't. She may not be able to meet those, but that's not on you. That's on her. If it can't be a win/win where you're both happy? One of you will need to move. At least in my experience. That or be miserable. Which is also an option! Just not one I'm fond of, and usually try and avoid.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I do want to add, from someone that is highly promiscuous, that I first don't bring guys home if I'm living with someone. So that's a boundry I already hold without being told or ask to. And maybe that's the difference. But if someone asked me not to bring guys home as they were uncomfortable, i would appologize and then not bring guys home.

They have a home or there's a hotel..or a car...well you get the point.

So maybe just a boundry set with her to not bring guys home would be all that there needs to occur.

Maybe not, but just a thought.