In Need Of Your Opinion Please

[Ritzy]

Okay so this is my first post ever but i actually joined just to ask.

Last year on august 18th I was raped. I dont remember much of the assault other than a few painful moments. When I woke up the next morning I immediately grabbed my belongings and left to never look back. Or so I thought..

I see the place I was assaulted in almost daily. Well I come to learn recently my friends father in law owns it. I really desire to go look around this place because I have no recolection of this place aside from several seconds of misery.

Would it be a terrible idea? Or could it ease something in my mind?

I will continue to see it no matter what I decide to do but maybe if I viewed it then maybe I could reduce flashbacks or anything really.

What do you all think?
Please be gentle with responses if you disagree.

 

[Borabic]

Can you take that slowly? Go around the place, before going straight in, see what it does to you?

Go only to a section of it after, instead of the floor / room it happened, things like that?

Mostly I wouldn't jump into a memory pool full of sharks with the sharks still there. I'd first get the sharks (flashbacks) out, one by one, and then see if I can handle looking at the pool, let alone swimming again (going right into the room).

 

[Icagu]

Okay so this is my first post ever but i actually joined just to ask.

Last year on august 18th I was raped. I dont reme...

Not on your own. Get a therapist. I tried something like that with an ex's fb page and ended up feeling like crap and suicidal. Be careful.

 

[Ribote]

I really desire to go look around this place because I have no recolection of this place aside from several seconds of misery.

I'm really sorry that this happened to you. Do you have good supports in place?

In terms of going back, I agree with the above to take it slowly and have support with you if you do. But...

This is still reasonably recent, the trauma is still fresh, and I think giving your mind time to settle and recover might be the priority: If confronting the place where it happened helps give you closure, it could be a good idea. But it seems a bit soon for 'closure' on something like this. Healing takes time, and confronting our demons can be a part of the recovery journey for some, but probably not 'most' with an experience like this.

Also I think putting some time into mulling over why you want to do this, being really clear in your mind. Trauma, and trying to make sense of it, causes our brain to search for rationality, ways to try and make it all 'make sense'. Unfortunately, often there is no rationality to be found. The hard and painful truth is - it was a horrible experience that you just plain didn't deserve.

I can see on the one hand how revisiting might feel like it will help the chips fall into place. But given you only have brief recollections, what it could also do is turn what is currently 'moments' of traumatic memory into a conplete saga. Flashbacks and nightmares and intrusive thoughts may just be given more fuel, and you may end up with vastly more triggers than you currently have.

For example, going back and seeing the couch where... All of a sudden, couches like that remind you of your trauma. Carpet like that may remind you. Furniture, smells, colours, lighting - all the things that you're adding to your memory could become traumatic reminders in themselves.

The alternative is that you may go back and be able to realise that hey, this is just a house, I don't need to be frightened by this anymore. But that sort of mindset would usually come after a longer period of giving your mind time to heal its wounds.

And, one of the disasters of revisiting the place where trauma occurred can easily set off emotional responses, trigger distress that is otherwise reasonably under control.

It's not an easy question, and different people will find this retraumatising or a chance to move on. So whether it's a good idea is very personal. But either way, giving your mind a little longer to heal, and knowing exactly what you want to gain, will be critical.

One thing for sure - revisiting the house will not help make sense of what happened to you. The house itself doesn't hold those answers, and it may simply open more memories of an experience that you're trying to put behind you.

Talk this through with people you trust, and your therapist if you have one. And if you go ahead, have a very clear plan about when symptoms arise, how you will cope with them both at the time, and during the aftermath.

Personally, I want answers and closure on my trauma. But for me, reinserting myself into that moment of hell is not the answer. For me.

 

[Eladad]

it definitely wouldn't make you feel any better. You'd get no sense of relief from that, probably only more pain. So I don't really see the point. It makes more sense to see a therapist or sit down and talk with someone, anyone, about the event. I just don't see what could be gained by visiting the place. Maybe way way way down the road, when you're healed and can look back on it as something you survived .... but not now. Way too soon.

 

[Iwog]

I'd say, since you do see the place frequently already and you have access.... if you are very clear for yourself about the purpose of the activity/going inside, if your shrink agrees, if you have a well rounded support system then sure go ahead and attempt the exposure.

Exposures when done properly can ease symptoms, however exposures are very stressful to do and you don't say where you are in your recovery process or if you are in therapy. Exposures can go wrong and worsen symptoms if undertaken in the wrong/irresponsible way. (sorry can't put that last sentence together in a better way - wrong/irresponsible don't like that wording but all I got this morning)

Here's some stuff about exposures and exposure therapy:

Link Removed (the second part of this article discusses exposures)

Prolonged Exposure Therapy for PTSD (PE) - Trauma Treatment (the more effective approach according to Anthony who is very experienced and well versed on the topics on our forum - our guru and the site owner)

There is another which I was looking for specifically, but our search function is down and being resolved. I hope there is something here that will help?

 

[Iri]

it definitely wouldn't make you feel any better. You'd get no sense of relief from that, probably only more pain.

I wouldn't say that as a definite, that isn't always the case.

On the show "Surviving Evil", the person that was traumatize in a house and only went back with the camera crew for the show. She said that she had nightmares every night, waking up screaming but when she got there, and saw children on a trampoline and heard the sound of children laughing that her nightmares stopped and her black haze was lifted. The next morning, she said she woke up laughing. For the first time since it happened.

Will that happen? Maybe! Would I advise to go there alone? No! Have someone there that knows. A therapist is best but several people that knows is ok. They can keep their head and get you out if needed.

Take it VERY slow if you do go. Take it in stages, checking how you feel as you go.

My therapist and i did a google earth "tour" to see my "house of hell" again. It was done as a way of exposure therapy so that the house and city didn't have power anymore.

But, there is a huge difference in exposure therapy and retraumatizing yourself. Either could be done by going there. So be careful!

 

[Seto]

Hey opening poster, this is the link for a pdf file article that Anthony wrote about exposures and PTSD Self Help - I had to wait til the search function came back up. Hope you find it helpful?

Ptsd Therapy - One Page, As Simple As It Gets

 

[Nepovi]

I will give you a warning from my experiences---this can lead to unforeseen feelings and thoughts. It does help to revisit the place if you are having trouble coping and processing but I would only do so with the help of a therapist. Do not underestimate the reason why your mind is blocking it out.

Best of luck to you and I'm so sorry to hear about what happened.

 

[Zuwuh]

I am sorry that happened to you, but if you don't have any type of therapy in place I would say you're going to re-injure yourself. And I would not ever attempt to go inside without the knowledge or consent of a therapist, I do feel you're pain, it's to heal and not re-injure. You are in my prayers... jus my dos centovos

 

[Tuhuj]

I will give you a warning from my experiences---this can lead to unforeseen feelings and thoughts. It does help to revi...

Agreed!! This is not to be taken lightly

 

[Supus]

I think it's a bad idea as you haven't learned therapeutic coping skills yet. All could go to hell if you go there.