Please I Need Your Opinions Not Understanding Anything About Life Or Living

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Apparently, the answer is 42. ;)

(humour)

 

[Deleted member 37085]

I was in hospital for 3 months before, and the doctors were excellent, and put me on a huge concoc...

Please be vigilant re: your Rx medications and it is okay to study diagnosis and see that it fits your symptoms. Precious Lostgirlptsd wanted to share my cautionary tale re: a bit of my diagnoses/pharmacology history. Hope you glean something of value - here goes: Was for over 20+ years sadly misdiagnosed with bi-polar from the mid-80's until March, 2012 and for those decades I was incorrectly and inappropriately prescribed excessive amounts at the same time of the wrong psychotropic/anti-psychotic medications over this sad lengthy period of my lifetime again on mind-numbing, mood-altering zombie-like unnecessary Rx drugs precious one. Beloved Lostgirlptsd I am still dealing with indescribable rage from the extreme recovery time lost and the misdiagnosis and wrong drugs. So much time lost re: recovery, etc. I had to pull out of college due to wrong diagnosis. Am grateful for correct dx now.

When In March, 2012, I was eventually and finally correctly diagnosed with prolonged complex ptsd and major depressive disorder (also have dyslexia) I was finally then and there taken off - at my request - all of the multiple mind-numbing Rx drugs that I had never needed those 20+ years again due to incorrect diagnosis Lostgirlptsd. So many pills (incorrectly diagnosed) and decades of lost time re: recovery for my true diagnoses p.c.ptsd and major depressive disorder beloved one. I have heard and read this is a somewhat common occurrence between bipolar and ptsd patients - being incorrectly misdiagnosed for years, sometimes a lifetime. I am one of fortunate ones, for now I know what I am dealing with and I have gratitude for that. I also have unadulterated rage for decades of lost recovery time, sweet one.

 

[The Albatross]

Life is about relationships.... all kinds of relationships, even the ones we wished we'd never had. And life is about squaring that up into a semblance of peace, compassion, kindness, and love. That's what it is for me, because although I wasn't convinced, working elder care and end stage... that is the stuff the people really miss or regret, and believe me, as hard and difficult as this life is I will bust my chops not to be a person at end of life with a lapful of regrets.

 

[The Albatross]

P.S. Life's also about finding my place in the world be it big or small and being okay with that.

 

[DharmaGirl]

When I was diagnosed, and lost myself and became numb, my therapist suggested I try to find 1 thing I liked to do. I had to start with 1 thing, and work from there. I had loved my previous life, but could no longer live it since I also had serious back injuries, so it was one of the hardest things I had to do. Accept who I was now, and build a life from there. I also stopped all the psych meds except for an anti-depressant and an anti-anxiety. To me, I would rather structure my life than be numb to it because of drugs. That's me though. I was hospitalized many, many times, until I became well enough to function without it.

To try to tie this all together, finding one thing that sparks your interest and doing it can start you on the road to having feelings again. There is also a thread called, "What are you feeling today" or something like that. I would try to figure it out every day until I was finally able to identify some.

 

[Deleted member 37085]

Life is about relationships.... all kinds of relationships, even the ones we wished we'd never had...

Scares me being so early in recovery re: p.c.ptsd etc. that I will not be able to take care of all the regrets and that I might end up with a lap of them at end of my life. Goal. xoxo

 

[Deleted member 37085]

When I was diagnosed, and lost myself and became numb, my therapist suggested I try to find 1 thing...

Like this post a lot; resonates with me and my life now too... :)

 

[ArcadeClash]

Is it just me, or maybe there is something else wrong with me, but does anyone have trouble with u...

Lostgirl,
You are definitely not alone in wondering what living life is all about. PTSD seems to give us a tunnel vision that directs us to focus on merely surviving, I think. Because I think with whatever trauma we went through we lost a bit of ourselves and somewhere in the shattered fragments of our lives we hope to find the missing piece....so we relive it instead of moving ahead and facing forward. And/or we zone out and disassociate.
It's hard to drag ourselves out of it. I think I know how you feel :/ ...it feels like you're carrying a heavy bag that just gets heavier and heavier. Other people move along and we wonder how they do this..how they just bounce back because its like we lost it somehow. But you didn't lose it...and it's normal to have difficulty functioning when trying to cope with Anxiety, Depression and PTSD. I understand your struggle with just holding it together as I have problems with it myself.

I think we have to look within to find our sense of purpose so that we can continue to move forward. Difficult to do and a daily struggle but it is possible. Maybe try to find one little thing you love each day and do that. It helps me immensely. Simple and silly as it is. Pamper yourself. Take a bubble bath and meditate, read a good book, go for a walk, etc. whatever you like to do... For anxiety, yoga and meditation does wonders, even just 10 minutes a day. Takes time to learn how to clear your mind but if you stick with it, it can really be a helpful tool in dealing with Anxiety, Depression & PTSD. Sending peace and good thoughts your way. I know there is no easy fix for everything..of that I am certain but you aren't alone in this. Just remember that no matter how lonely it might feel.

 

[Rani G2]

just can't understand how people are able to keep doing things, like getting up every day, go to their jobs, be able to keep working, in the evenings come home make a dinner, or do something else.

Hey Lostgirlptsd,

i dont necessarily have to “belong“ to those so-called functioning people who are somewhat able to deal with their life. What does “dealing“ mean? Ok, some live in a more healthier way probably than others depending on what their, history, genetics, environment or culture they are living in. How do I really know? I knew this lady who was a, well you'd call her “perfectionist“, worked hard, did well in academics, was very selfdisciplined. Her body paid the price, she had a massive eating disorder. So, one really cant say. Your question wasnt about high functioning people, I know, just being able to somewhat get things done daily. Small steps, tiny ones. I get those feelings of wanting to dissapear, when I hang around at airports, sit in a shopping mall watch others doing their thing.

A little observing and putting things into perspective might help to begin with?

 

[Jim Me]

Is it just me, or maybe there is something else wrong with me, but does anyone have trouble with u...

I have just started to feel again. And when I can feel me and my own emotions, I can actually feel the other people around me, and it's very very rich at times. So, I agree that life is about human connection.

So many theorists talk about emotional neurology as if it evolved due to survival value, but I bet they would have trouble answering the question "Why survive?" I say it's purely for human connection, with others but even, maybe especially, with yourself. That connection is emotional.

You may not be able to believe this, but it does make life meaningful. I'm telling you this as a guy who spends most of his time in a numb, frightened, angry state. Struggling through therapy and support groups and making painfully slow process is more than compensated by those peeks into real love.

Why are we here? For each other. (Without being over-giving, of course. We're also here for our own selves.)

It doesn't sound corny to me, @lostforgottensoul .

 

[Deleted member 37085]

I have just started to feel again. And when I can feel me and my own emotions, I can actually feel the o...

Ups and Downs are part of life - you don't have to be perfect. @Ms Spock posted this life quote and it strongly resonates with me. @Jim Me I too at times go in and out of a numb, frightened and my angry state of mind and what I am learning on this treasured forum is that all of these emotional states even numb are part of the process of walking through the pain and learning how to try only try to trust, care, and love. I believe you are good at expressing your feelings, that's not a given for most men, and also for most of us women as well when dealing with horrific trauma @ Jim Me. And I too strongly believe we are all here (although many of us were given horrific messes and histories that derailed us - for a time) to connect, care and love one another and balance and boundaries, yes. I cannot try to love anyone until I (currently in EMDR Therapy) continue to learn to love myself. Thank you for your post and at only this moment in time I'm a countin' my blessings and wishing you more. Happy New Year @ Jim Me. Jade

 

[Jim Me]

Ups and Downs are part of life - you don't have to be perfect. @Ms Spock posted t...

Thank you @JadesJewel. HNY