Body Memories

[shimmerz]

I have another post out there about 'Bone Chilling Cold', which is what I get when it is cold out. I am thinking it is a body memory due to a 'cold trauma' that repeated itself over several years for me.

I am perplexed as to how to deal with body memories. I actually feel I am reliving the cold trauma by being perpetually cold and it takes me down for hours when it hits.

Does anyone have any ideas on how to deal with body memories? How to disconnect from them?

 

[Snowflake]

Hmmm I get them too. Alot if deep breathing. Otherwise -I have no answers .

 

[Friday]

What works best for me is to ground in the opposite of the memory.

Cold = Hot Showers. PLUS rather deliberately remembering everything else in relation to that time in my life and doing the opposite, or as "time for something completely different" as possible aaaaand then adding in those aspects without the cold. So a bit of a 3 step process. Cold also equaled hungry, tired, surrounded by people I loved deeply, being outside, and a few other things.

1 = Hot Showers // Ground in the opposite
2 = Eat, Rest, Be Alone, Be Inside, etc.
3 = A combo of the above, and adding individual aspects (being outside, or with people I love, or similar)

2&3 are a bit quirky, because my natural impulse is to start replicating the rest of the memory (not triggering, exactly, just... Clearly, I'm supposed to have my hair braided if I feel this way. I don't even notice I've done it. Same as I don't notice I've been eating potatoes for a month. Or any of the rest of it). So doing the opposite is hard. First I have to realize what's a part of that memory. Then I have to alter it. And then deliberately adding in the pieces I add in subconsciously? Just feels weird. It's like, wasn't I just trying NOT to braid my hair this way, or eat potatoes, or be outside, etc.?

So... For example... If you piled yourself in blankets as a child? Don't. Find something else that's warming that you didn't do in your trauma history. Whatever you unconsciously reach for? Consciously find a parallel to it, and do that instead. You can do blankets again... Later. After you've given yourself more options, and are choosing blankets, instead of acting out an old script.

 

[chant2012]

I don't know if they can be called body memories for me as I have no memory(s) at all of anything that would cause the said sensations I so often get. But I'm beginning to think I have no other lable to call them though.

But still regardless of what I call them, I do get sensations, especially in my lady parts that are very painful and sometimes they feel so real. Like someone touching me or something moving around inside me down there.

I also get other sensations in various body parts. Like electric currents. No idea why.

I currently found that drawing my pain helps momentarily. What mean by that is I actually drew my pain on paper. If you interested I can share it with you. I also use meditation and warm baths with essential oils to try and relax and refocus from the pain. Sometimes nothing works at all. Usually nothing works for me. But the first time I found something that helped was when my trauma T told me to draw my pain.

 

[scout86]

(waves at @shimmerz, having arrived at the new topic)

What I was talking about in the other thread isn't a body memory, for me. I've been cold plenty in real life, including a brush with frost bite, but that was just conventional cold. The kind of cold that registers on a thermometer. What I was talking about is a cold that comes from the inside and has no connection to the ambient temperature at all.

Even so, I think the biofeedback thing might help. The point of the thermometer he gave me to use is that it registers changes in tenths of a degree. That's way smaller than what you generally are aware of. I've learned some interesting things. First, that when I think my hands are cold they generally actually are. I've got one finger that got kind of badly smashed a few years ago. A lot of times that finger will be painfully cold when the rest of my hand isn't. Turns out it really IS a lot colder than the rest of my hand. But, I CAN raise the temperature, even of just that finger. And when I do, it feels different. It feels warmer. I'm guessing that when you feel cold, that's a real, physical thing you're feeling. It's not 'just in you head', it's not your imagination. I'd bet you're really feeling a real change in blood flow and I'd bet it's measurable. Going on from there, I'd bet you can learn to change it.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Personally I have an issue with this as well. I normally have pain down there. Severe stabbing pain. I never thought of the "bone chilling cold" and shivering as body memories but like on the other thread, that is likely body memories. I also have this "person touching me" feeling at night on my arms and stomach and basically all over me. Its super weird. Like a ghost is doing it. Thats likely it to.

@shimmerz, have you read Body Keeps the Score yet? I don't know if there are things that help in there but i know everyone raves about that book. Personally i cant seem to stop it. Ive tryed grounding and distracting and nothing seems to help but time. Its like i was really hurt and trying to "ground the real pain away". It just doesnt work. Thats what it feels like to me.

Sorry i didnt have any ideas on how to help it.

 

[shimmerz]

"time for something completely different"

Right. Stop curling up under a blanket and work at it before it takes me down. Don't fall into the same patterns that I used to cope back then.

If you piled yourself in blankets as a child? Don't. Find something else that's warming that you didn't do in your trauma history. Whatever you unconsciously reach for? Consciously find a parallel to it, and do that instead.

Yep. Smart. I have been doing this today and eventually caved to the blanket because it was exhausting fighting through this one. I will keep trying. I expect it to get worse before it gets better. Thank you.

I currently found that drawing my pain helps momentarily.

Smart. This would allow me to funnel it through different senses and process from there. I may do this with both hands (dominant and non dominant). I have had some success with that as each hand expresses different components of this.

I CAN raise the temperature, even of just that finger.

I suppose even knowing this is possible would have tremendous value. When I feel better I will research this to see how this works.

Sorry i didnt have any ideas on how to help it.

I don't feel that way at all Lost. You bring a certain validity to the table - which really helps me. I can see from your postings that you 'get it' and that helps me a ton. I have no read The Body Keeps the Score. I will do what I can when I feel better to get my hands on it. Thank you.

Alot if deep breathing.

Goddammit I forget this all of the time. Thank you for the gentle reminder.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Stop curling up under a blanket and work at it before it takes me down. Don't fall into the same patterns that I used to cope back then.

I've found blankets don't "warm me up" or stop it. I just shiver under the blanket.

If it helps you, you defaulting to it makes sense as you don't yet have anything else that works and it is indeed a horrid feeling. So it's sorta of like a desperation of needing it to stop and you know the blanket works.

What id do is do it slow. Don't "quit the blanket" cold turkey. But rather try a few other things first and then go to the blanket if they fail. Next time try a few different things and go to the blanket if they fail. And so forth and so on. You will find that thing or things that works and then at that point you are using those coping skills and don't need the blanket anymore.

Does that make sense?

I never just cold turkey take away maladaptive coping skills that work. I slowly do it like that.

I don't feel that way at all Lost. You bring a certain validity to the table - which really helps me. I can see from your postings that you 'get it' and that helps me a ton. I have no read The Body Keeps the Score. I will do what I can when I feel better to get my hands on it. Thank you.

Well, you are very welcome! And thank you for saying that! Makes me feel better anyway! And yes, I totally get it! :hug:

 

[shimmerz]

Don't "quit the blanket" cold turkey. But rather try a few other things first and then go to the blanket if they fail.

lol. Thanks for the reminder. That is my ol' 'all or nothing' girl peaking through again. I will try to be patient with myself. Thank you so much for the reminder.

 

[scout86]

Ever tried an electric blanket?

 

[shimmerz]

I haven't tried an electric blanket. I seem to need the weight of several blankets. I wonder though about a hot water bottle. I need to somehow unwrap myself from the alleviation of this from lying down. I wonder if those heater things you spoke of and a hot water bottle may help so that I don't need to lie down.

Just some ideas. Socks for sure. I am known for never wearing socks. I am pretty sure they trigger me up.

 

[scout86]

The best thing about an electric blanket is you can turn it on before you go to bed & it has things warmed up before you get there. :D I like lots of blankets too, but i used to use the electric one under the rest of them and turn it off or way down once I actually got into bed. You could also wrap yourself up in an electric blanket for sitting around purposes.