How Do You All Do Those Trauma Diaries?

[Gs172003]

I didn't even do that all I did was give the gist of my life and I sat in my damn bathroom for an hour trying not to cry. How do you all do this?

 

[Silver.]

For me? It comes and go's. I don't set myself expectations that I cannot do (such as making sure to keep up with it daily)
though I do find, (and most people will agree), the more you write, the easier it gets to do
Or maybe try a physical diary first, but make it fun. Do you art? You can doodle diary. Also, you can try writing prompts that will give you a topic to write about, maybe that will help?
I am sorry you are struggling so hard with this x

 

[Deleted member 541]

It sucks big time. It tends to make you sick, physically, mentally and emotionally. You write, you get sick, you walk away from it. You feel better, you write, some more, you get sick you walk away again.

Each time you do this, it does get easier, but it's a process. Not easy, but seriously it's one of the best ways to feel better. Stupid to say that because you feel so shitty, but you do get better.

Just have tons of coping skills handy, self care too. A good therapist. And be kind to yourself throughout.

 

[jaccat]

You don't have to let it all out in one go. Tell it at your own pace. Put other stuff in it, things that affect you now, good things- things you like. Or take a break from it, whatever suits you.

 

[Gs172003]

For me? It comes and go's. I don't set myself expectations that I cannot do (such as making sure to kee...

Thanks. No I don't do art. The most I do is take pictures.

 

[shimmerz]

It is, by and far, one of the greatest self regulation tools I have at my disposal these days. What I say in my diary isn't nearly as important as learning how to feel what I am saying in my diary.... and learning how to stop myself from going overboard.

 

[Gs172003]

It sucks big time. It tends to make you sick, physically, mentally and emotionally. You write, you get...

Thank you

 

[Gs172003]

Thank you all. I'm so so suprised how hard that was

 

[Gs172003]

Something I just realized I never put on that other thread? I was bullied all through school. About my looks, about my clothes, everything. I was put down by every body in my life except one. My grandpa. And he was one of the people I watched die. I wish I didn't. At one point he yelled out in fear. I don't know why but he did.

 

[The Albatross]

I took a hard nosed approach to the diary thing because I was deeply resistant in spite of many "suggestions" for a good number of years... I happened upon an "hour glass" at a department store that was deep discounted, having seen them before I knew it wasn't an hour so I bought it. I made it a goal to write for the duration of the sand in the "hour" glass (which was actually about 23 minutes) and just kept doing that til it normalized.

About the first 50 or 60 pages is me throwing out my stuff, and also what was going on with me day to day... the rest is where it went from there. I also go back into those first 50-60 pages about every 4 months or so and have ever since I first wrote them. They have normalized now. That stuff (some things I still absolutely won't write about... but the stuff I did write about...) has very low subjective units of distress now.

It was a big leap from me to tell individuals (my spouse, therapists/counselors) and to put it on a member forum... but it was well worth it in my opinion.

 

[Rani G2]

Hey Zoogal,

i find Diary difficult to do. I tried, failed, again I tried and stopped. The thing is, that I focus on handwriting, I focus on getting the point, its doesnt flow. When I was mad at someone I just began to write like a mad person, handwriting didnt matter, grammer didnt matter, I just scrawled and wrote until my hand was sore . I am still struggeling though, but keeps activating something. Even if it means I am writing for a few minutes.

 

[shimmerz]

except one. My grandpa.

I have written about my grandpa as well. He was the only person that I felt unconditional love from (and for). I, as well had issues with his death, taking stuff on about it, but then again I still am working on things that I take on that perhaps is not mine to hold.

What I realized about that relationship was that it allowed me to understand that there was nothing inherently wrong with me. That I was loveable. Just for being me. By someone. And someone who was really special.

I wonder if you could explore what and why that relationship did for you in a positive way in order to help you even things out in your diary. Ground yourself perhaps?