Is This A Flashback?

[BlueOrange]

So much has been covered! I'm glad that you're feeling safe enough that you're able to let your feelings show, even though they are scary feelings. It sounds like there is support available to you, which is great.

The one thing I'd add is that by getting into therapy quickly (like you are doing), you reduce the long-term impacts. The difference between PTSD and not-PTSD is that people with the long term PTSD avoided their problems and formed phobias relating to flashbacks and to the difficult feelings associated with the memories.

You sound scared and unhappy, but you don't currently sound like you'll develop full-on PTSD to me. If you keep on allowing your feelings to do their thing, and get into therapy for the symptoms you're having, I feel like there's a good chance that you will do really well.

Trauma is like a 'psychic wound' PTSD is like a bacterial infection that gets into the wound and gets deep inside you. You've got a scar, and it opened up again with the recent stresses. You'll always have a scar; but if you practice good hygiene (like you're doing), you minimize the risk of infection.

 

[Amethyst]

Regardless of how others felt at the time, you need to be validated and reassured that you aren't crazy, or wired wrong

My last therapist explained that PTSD symptoms are a normal response to an abnormal experience, so that's more or less how I see it. Sometimes I think that I'm crazy, but then I remember that anyone who had the same experience that I did would probably react the same way.

 

[Amethyst]

You sound scared and unhappy, but you don't currently sound like you'll develop full-on PTSD to me.

Thank you. I'm going to continue with therapy even if I have to wait until next semester to start seeing someone regularly, and hopefully the symptoms will get better and eventually go away. They've already gotten better since the summer, even if there's new ones.

Also, I really like that analogy. It makes a lot of sense :)

 

[Gs172003]

Thank you. I'm going to continue with therapy even if I have to wait until next semester to start seei...

If you've already been diagnosed with PTSD then it won't necessarily go away but it can become manageable

 

[Amethyst]

If you've already been diagnosed with PTSD then it won't necessarily go away

My current diagnosis is acute stress disorder, which is supposed to go away with time, but then again I've had it for over 5 months now so I'm not sure :/

 

[Gs172003]

My current diagnosis is acute stress disorder, which is supposed to go away with time, but then again...

Gotcha. I don't know how long acute really goes on for but my understanding was if it's longer than a month it's no longer acute...

"ASD and PTSD differ in two fundamental ways. The first difference is that the diagnosis of ASD can be given only within the first month following a traumatic event. If posttraumatic symptoms were to persist beyond a month, the clinician would assess for the presence of PTSD. The ASD diagnosis would no longer apply."
Acute Stress Disorder - PTSD: National Center for PTSD

 

[Gs172003]

According to that article cognitive based therapy is the best course for ASD and you can find resources for that online until you can see somebody

 

[Amethyst]

If posttraumatic symptoms were to persist beyond a month, the clinician would assess for the presence of PTSD. The ASD diagnosis would no longer apply.

I was diagnosed with ASD about a week after the trauma and I continued in therapy until a little past the two month mark. At the time, my symptoms were improving a lot and my therapist basically insisted that my response was normal and the ASD would likely not develop into PTSD. It's now nearly six months since the trauma and I'm still experiencing most of the symptoms I was before, just to a less severe extent.

One of the main reasons that I'm going back to counseling is because I want to be assessed for PTSD. I don't know if I have it or not, but if I do, I would like to know so that I can find a therapist outside of my school's counseling center and receive proper, long-term treatment. I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

 

[Gs172003]

I was diagnosed with ASD about a week after the trauma and I continued in therapy until a little past...

You don't necessarily have to go to counseling to be assessed at least not here. The local mental hospitals and the local college psychology program both do it and I do believe they are free.

 

[Amethyst]

You don't necessarily have to go to counseling to be assessed

Hmm, maybe I'll try my college's psychology department. I'll ask my therapist if that's something the school offers, since I already have an appointment with her. Thanks!

 

[Gs172003]

Hmm, maybe I'll try my college's psychology department. I'll ask my therapist if that's something the...

You're welcome

 

[BlueOrange]

The thing to note is that after a month is when you start to assess for PTSD, there are quite a few other relevant diagnoses that produce symptoms that last longer than a month.

A critical component for a PTSD diagnosis is avoidance: It's not enough to have distressing memories to have PTSD, you have to start disrupting your day-to-day life in order to avoid the memories. This avoidance starts to create a self-sustaining pattern of poor mental health.

I don't see any evidence of avoidance in the stories above. It seems to me that there's a partially healed psychic injury that tore open.

There is a risk of PTSD for Amethyst, and I'm certainly not suggesting that she shouldn't be here - I'm sure we'd love to prevent PTSD when we have the opportunity to do so.

She seems to be doing all the right things: Acknowledging the hurt feelings, taking a step back and a moment to rest, and engaging with a therapist without delay.

I see some risk factors too: Comments like "I never cry in public" remind me of "I never cry", and "I never cry" is very strongly linked to avoidance of difficult emotions. But there's a difference: Crying later in the day, or later in the week - those are signs of social competence. The fact that I didn't cry over my mother's death for several years is really serious avoidance, and is consistent with my severe dissociative disorder.

My intention with Amethyst right now is to reassure her that it's OK to have painful memories, and for those memories to hurt when activated. I think that's the best thing we can do in terms of avoiding the establishment of a cycle of avoidance.