Sexual Trauma But Not Sexual Abuse?

[JoJo11]

Has anyone ever differentiated between having sexual trauma but not necessarily that it amounted to abuse?

For me, I was between 10-13 and consented. I had an object forcibly inserted inside of me by an adult I knew. It was extremely painful, there were a lot of tears and crying out loud by me. It WAS traumatic due to pain. The adult, I'm fairly certain, had nothing to gain by doing this and was not doing it with the intention of punitive abuse or self gratification. As a grown person now myself, I only wonder "Why didn't they, as the adult, think to stop?"- because the duration it was for quite awhile and this type of thing reoccurred more than once. All with me consenting. Maybe no more than three times, though.

I think what I went through could easily be compared to a medical procedure where it really sucks, is going to hurt a lot, and you just have to deal with it despite it being traumatic. (However, to clarify, it was NOT an actual medical procedure- it was neither diagnostic nor curative in nature.)

Is it fair to call this just a "sexual trauma" and not amount it as entirely sexual abuse?

 

[Kawugo]

What you describe is sexual abuse. As a child you could not legally or morally consent to what happened, you were penetrated by an object forcibly - which in many places would amount to rape - regardless of what you think the adult might or might not have felt during the experience, it still is sexual abuse.

The only exception would be an actual medical procedure - but still the use of force would be deeply questionable - and you're clear that wasn't the case here. By any definition you were sexually abused. I know that sounds very blunt but I can't see any benefit in colluding with you on this one.

 

[Doza]

^^
Children can't consent, period.

 

[JoJo11]

I would be curious to see, though, if there was anyone who thought the same as me.

There was really no benefit to this adult individual. I believe they thought they were helping me. And that's what I consented to, was assistance. The only concerning item for me is why they didn't think it had reached a point where the "procedure" should have been aborted- that they should have thought to stop. That maybe I was too young to physically accept the object despite literally having asked for it.

 

[Ivoza]

And that's what I consented to, was assistance.

I can't conceive of what assistance a child would need that would involve inserting an object into their anus. As a child, you weren't in a position to consent and the adult had a duty to protect you from harm. And something being inserted into your anus as a child is harmful.

 

[JoJo11]

I can't conceive of what assistance a child would need that would involve inserting an object into their anus. As a chil...

I intentionally left details out regarding the orifice to avoid assumptions on gender.

 

[Gotig]

I'm ovoza (previous poster) and I beg your pardon - you're right in that I made an assumption about which orifice, for which I sincerely apologise. I didn't however make any assumption regarding gender as both male and female can be victim to anal rape.

My assumption is that you're referring to a genital insertion given you describe sexual trauma but yes I should have been more circumspect.

 

[Otive]

Yeah this definitely sounds like sexual abuse regardless of intent. I think a number of sexual abusers start off thinking (or hoping) that what they're doing is for the benefit of the child. I'm thinking of a specific incident with my father when he should've just made me an appointment with a doctor if my health was the actual concern.

 

[JoJo11]

I'm ovoza (previous poster) and I beg your pardon - you're right in that I made an assumption about which orifice, for w...

No offense taken, I hope you're not offended either. I was just hoping to remove as many seemingly unnecessary details as possible.

 

[Duzape]

(However, to clarify, it was NOT an actual medical procedure- it was neither diagnostic nor curative in nature.)

Can you clarify how they would have thought they helping you if there was no reason for the 'procedure'?

If they had no valid reason to do it then it is abuse. No question. Regardless of whether you as a child agreed to them doing it or not. As has already been stated, children can't consent.

 

[JoJo11]

Can you clarify how they would have thought they helping you if there was no reason for the 'procedure'?

If they had n...

To be most frank, this was how I was trained to use tampons.

 

[Idi]

(Not condoning this in any way,shape or form. I believe this was abuse, irregardless of intent.)

Did the adult that did this undergo a similar experience when they were the same age as you?
Perhaps this is why they didn't think to stop, thinking there was nothing out of the ordinary happening?