I have trouble with these types of antidotes. For the same reason I also hate the term “survivor” in place of “victim”. The negative associations with people that are harmed is what needs to be addressed. "Victim” is so negative it’s as insulting as profanity.
There’s an overall societal belief that we choose our reality. So having a criminal attack is really the person that is being attacked's fault. Our language is geared toward this belief. There is no term to state being the victim of a crime where the language is centered firmly on the perp, not the victim. So we come up with terms for the victims themselves, rather than redefining language that's solely based on the criminal’s actions.
It seems to me that trauma does define you, until it doesn't. Healing comes easier to some people, is definitely much more accessible to some people and some people have stable relationships, while others just don’t. Relationship support is instrumental is healing.
Now 60, dealing with the trauma itself, chronic illness and the devastation to my life as a result, hasn’t allowed me a lot of time to develop skills needed to find supportive relationships. To be healthy seeking and establishing good relationships, my life and I need stabilization. The more unstable my life has become, mostly through intentional attack by others, the more vulnerable I am for yet more attack.
The belief about my “trauma” accepted by those I once considered close, has been belittling and denial of the events themselves. For me, it's several unrelated sexual assaults (another victim centered term where there is no equivalent that’s perp centered).
They have determined I exaggerated, lack emotional rational to effectively analyze people/events or that I outright lied. I have been called a drug addict, a hypochondriac, off my nut and of course a “victim”.
Free the harmed from blame.
