Justmehere
Sponsor
I walked to the grocery store in bad weather today. I can't drive because of a medical condition, and I have a service dog with me 90% of the time because of PTSD and that medical condition. I trained her myself, but I had also trained other service dogs for others through an agency when it became clear I could benefit from one of my own. My dog got road salt on her foot from the overly salted sidewalk. The salt prevents ice from forming, but also hurts my pup's feet. She wears something on her feet to protect them, but sometimes a piece sneaks into the soft spots between her toes. She has learned to pause and hold up her foot to let me wipe if off if I can.
Well sure enough, she held up her paw just before walking across the parking lot. It was awful weather, and I wanted to get where it was warm, so I signaled "go" and she happily trotted alongside me until we got into the store. As soon as we got into the store, I signaled "paw" and she held up the salty paw. My dog knows hand signals and voice commands, and I did all of this without saying anything. I wiped off the salt. I know of other legit service dog teams who struggle with how to handle this very thing, but this system works for me... but apparently not the public?
As soon as I stood up, a woman started angrily lecturing me... "You need to know that it's a felony now in this (area) to have a fake service dog. (The area) just passed a law making it illegal to pretend your pet is a service dog just to take her with you in here. You should never -"
I was so thrown off. I cut her off to reply "What? Why do you think she is fake? Would you like to see the letter from my doctor verifying I indeed have a real disability? I have it with me and would be glad to show you that."
It's a vague letter but meets all the requirements that a service dog owner has to be able to meet in the US. While she had no legal grounds to demand it from me, she was visibly upset over her assumption I was skirting the law and the letter verifies I am legit. I thought it would calm her down.
My dog was attacked and nearly killed by a dog that someone was later confirmed by the courts to be misusing service dog rules just so that it could be let into an area where it should not have been in the first place, so I can understand her getting emotional about it... And a lot of people do try to fake it, and make life hard for those of us that have real legit disabilities. Every now and then, someone comes up to ask me how they can get a vest for their dog so take it everywhere too. I usually reply, "First, you have to have a life altering disability. Second, you have to have a health care provider write a letter verifying you have this life altering disability..." - and anyone seeking to just put a vest on a pet usually rolls their eyes and walks away. The few legit folks will keep talking and then I tell them where to find info online.... but they are few and far between. 90% of people who talk to me about how to get their dog a jacket are faking it. I even have a family friend who is purposefully putting a service dog jacket on their dog despite the fact that no one in the family has a disability. No one! When I asked him about it, he confirmed no one had a disability, they just wanted to take their dog everywhere. I tried to explain to him all the problems I experience because of people doing things like what he did... but he kept saying "it makes me happy to have our dog with me, I'd fine with law enforcement prosecuting me on this. It would be worth it." (In his state and mine, it's a jailable offense to do what he is doing.)
So I can understand why she might be upset if someone was faking a disability to have their dog with them. It makes life significantly harder for those of us with legit service dogs.
I was actually really discouraged today and feeling like crap about being disabled. I tried to talk to her, but she just kept loudly accusing me of faking my dog as a service dog. She was loud, not quite yelling, but creating a scene. I couldn't walk past her. I could have walked away, but it was cold damn it.
I finally point blank said the name of my medical condition and that "I hate my disability, why are you continuing to accuse me of faking it? I WISH it was fake. Please stop. My disability is very real." She said "well, ok, ok, maybe you are not faking it." She walked off in a huff. I don't think she really heard anything I said.
I wanted to tell her "PTSD IS REAL EVEN IF YOU CAN'T SEE IT. BACK OFF."
I did not say this. I didn't even mention the PTSD. Didn't feel like publicly outing myself as mentally ill at a grocery store to a stranger...
It was wise that I didn't.
As she walked off, I actually said to her "wait..." and *almost* followed her. Why? I don't know, I just wanted to talk to her? I didn't feel angry, just humiliated and confused by her response. By then, I was almost fighting back tears and suddenly a colleague and friend walked up, and I just felt humiliated. I wanted to thank her for being enthusiastic about protecting people with real disabilities, and to ask her to find a better way than public confrontation of disabled people. Because we already have to deal with enough crap and the law is there to protect us, not to promote citizen vigilantism...
I am humiliated that I ran into the friend that I did as I tried to keep any tears from breaking through. I only managed to say a weak "hi" and then walked off....
My service dog faithfully walked by my side with me, unphased. She had stood between the woman and me, and was as steady as can be. Damn it, I wish I could be as composed as my dog.
Well sure enough, she held up her paw just before walking across the parking lot. It was awful weather, and I wanted to get where it was warm, so I signaled "go" and she happily trotted alongside me until we got into the store. As soon as we got into the store, I signaled "paw" and she held up the salty paw. My dog knows hand signals and voice commands, and I did all of this without saying anything. I wiped off the salt. I know of other legit service dog teams who struggle with how to handle this very thing, but this system works for me... but apparently not the public?
As soon as I stood up, a woman started angrily lecturing me... "You need to know that it's a felony now in this (area) to have a fake service dog. (The area) just passed a law making it illegal to pretend your pet is a service dog just to take her with you in here. You should never -"
I was so thrown off. I cut her off to reply "What? Why do you think she is fake? Would you like to see the letter from my doctor verifying I indeed have a real disability? I have it with me and would be glad to show you that."
It's a vague letter but meets all the requirements that a service dog owner has to be able to meet in the US. While she had no legal grounds to demand it from me, she was visibly upset over her assumption I was skirting the law and the letter verifies I am legit. I thought it would calm her down.
My dog was attacked and nearly killed by a dog that someone was later confirmed by the courts to be misusing service dog rules just so that it could be let into an area where it should not have been in the first place, so I can understand her getting emotional about it... And a lot of people do try to fake it, and make life hard for those of us that have real legit disabilities. Every now and then, someone comes up to ask me how they can get a vest for their dog so take it everywhere too. I usually reply, "First, you have to have a life altering disability. Second, you have to have a health care provider write a letter verifying you have this life altering disability..." - and anyone seeking to just put a vest on a pet usually rolls their eyes and walks away. The few legit folks will keep talking and then I tell them where to find info online.... but they are few and far between. 90% of people who talk to me about how to get their dog a jacket are faking it. I even have a family friend who is purposefully putting a service dog jacket on their dog despite the fact that no one in the family has a disability. No one! When I asked him about it, he confirmed no one had a disability, they just wanted to take their dog everywhere. I tried to explain to him all the problems I experience because of people doing things like what he did... but he kept saying "it makes me happy to have our dog with me, I'd fine with law enforcement prosecuting me on this. It would be worth it." (In his state and mine, it's a jailable offense to do what he is doing.)
So I can understand why she might be upset if someone was faking a disability to have their dog with them. It makes life significantly harder for those of us with legit service dogs.
I was actually really discouraged today and feeling like crap about being disabled. I tried to talk to her, but she just kept loudly accusing me of faking my dog as a service dog. She was loud, not quite yelling, but creating a scene. I couldn't walk past her. I could have walked away, but it was cold damn it.
I finally point blank said the name of my medical condition and that "I hate my disability, why are you continuing to accuse me of faking it? I WISH it was fake. Please stop. My disability is very real." She said "well, ok, ok, maybe you are not faking it." She walked off in a huff. I don't think she really heard anything I said.
I wanted to tell her "PTSD IS REAL EVEN IF YOU CAN'T SEE IT. BACK OFF."
I did not say this. I didn't even mention the PTSD. Didn't feel like publicly outing myself as mentally ill at a grocery store to a stranger...
It was wise that I didn't.
As she walked off, I actually said to her "wait..." and *almost* followed her. Why? I don't know, I just wanted to talk to her? I didn't feel angry, just humiliated and confused by her response. By then, I was almost fighting back tears and suddenly a colleague and friend walked up, and I just felt humiliated. I wanted to thank her for being enthusiastic about protecting people with real disabilities, and to ask her to find a better way than public confrontation of disabled people. Because we already have to deal with enough crap and the law is there to protect us, not to promote citizen vigilantism...
I am humiliated that I ran into the friend that I did as I tried to keep any tears from breaking through. I only managed to say a weak "hi" and then walked off....
My service dog faithfully walked by my side with me, unphased. She had stood between the woman and me, and was as steady as can be. Damn it, I wish I could be as composed as my dog.
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