Sometimes I Think Maybe I Made It All Up

[heather q]

She was able guide me back into the dissociative state

This was a good idea, so can you explain how you were able to get back into the dissociative state? I'm very interested in doing the same thing, it would take some of the power out of it.

Sounds like your ahead, that's great, good for you, that is cool!

Heather

 

[Blues in NYC]

This was a good idea, so can you explain how you were able to get back into the dissociative state? I'm very interested in doing the same thing, it would take some of the power out of it.

Sounds like your ahead, that's great, good for you, that is cool!

Heather

It's really hard to say Heather. My doc is so good with the brainspotting stuff in particular that it's restoring my belief in shamanism. We started out the session with me describing some of my feelings that are in this thread. But then she diverted my attention to something else that was more of the present but was also really nagging me, bothering me. Oddly the two were deeply connected--both were tapping into some of the same feelings of embarrassment and profound need for self-control. And while she was doing the second or third bit of brainspotting--I was already having of my own dissociative sensations kicking in like elongation of my body and feet not touching the ground... ...then I just sort of fell into it.

It was intense and I slept a LOT afterwards. Couldn't stay awake on the subway home in fact.

Wish I could give you some simple magic instructions about tapping your heels together thrice or something. But I've got nothing. My body and mind maybe were ready for it. And I credit my sherpa and guide on this journey for helping take me there. :dontknow:

 

[IndigoCharm]

Hi Blues,
You're not making it up! You don't have to remember it now and from my experience some things tend to get harder to remember if you try and force yourself to, especially since it was that painful. I think everyone, or at least most people at some point underestimate the abuse, because we grew up with a lot of it and/or it just mixed in with the normal parts of our lives, making it hard to see that it WASN'T normal. Perhaps you may never really remember it, or just not fully. But the value of the memories of abuse don't have to be less than the value of the memory of the exact words she said. (I hope that made sense the way I meant it to) *hugs*

 

[Irton Pike]

"dissociative sensations kicking in like elongation of my body and feet not touching the ground."


Holy cow! I get similar feelings to those. Very powerful they are too. Wow, never read anyone comment that hit home like that. I find them quite terrifying and very much connected with death/mortallity.