Other Cops, Suicide, It's A Mess

[Deleted member 487]

The other night I nearly killed myself. First time I went that far since April of 2015. But let me back up for a minute and tell you what's going on.

I have told you guys about my home being unsafe. So many times it has been broken into (11+), and the cops are unresponsive. Well, I found out Monday night that criminal charges are pending against me. No idea what for, but I found the docket online.

So I talked with the courts and the DA's office, and it seems my opinion offended the cops. 11+ times my home has been broken into, and my opinion of the cop's incompetence "offends them". So the night of the 14th I was up in Salt Lake City/Provo area trying to get into one of the mental health programs for a few nights. I was feeling suicidal and felt I'm better off there.

My loss as I found NO ONE....NO WHERE....that would even evaluate me. So I sat at the Smith's grocery store parking lot for half an hour with my pocket knife out, ready to do it's dirty work. Then I changed my mind, and I decided to go elsewhere instead of killing myself.

Earlier today I received a letter from the state. The charge is there, but I fail to see how as I threatened no one. 11 times my home is broken into, and the cops do nothing. The one time I express my feelings about the pigs and they want to put me away for up to 15 years.

THIS is why I have PTSD. THIS is why I am having my difficulties.
Please pray for me.

 

[Symphony]

That's terrible :(

 

[jc3]

The other night I nearly killed myself. First time I went that far since April of 2015. But let me...

It truly hurts me to read that you are in such a horrible position, and I wish I could do something to take away your pain. I cannot imagine how terrible that must feel to be accused of doing nothing more than practicing a little assertiveness, which is usually hard for those of us with CPTSD. You're being punished for practicing a personal right, and that's incredibly unfair. I hope that you make it through this unscathed and can relocate to a more harmonious area. I've tried killing myself many times but am grateful that I didn't succeed. I hope you do not inflict any more harm upon yourself and find the help you need. God bless.

 

[Fadeaway]

:hug: I just don't get it. Anywhere else you would have been able to find help. This place is not normal!

There is a man that works at Uni who isn't half bad, but avoid all the women at all cost.

 

[Deleted member 487]

I reached out to Wasatch, Utah County, Utah Valley Medical, Uni, even RAINN (sp?). The only acceptable response was a guy at Utah Valley that went into panic mode telling me over and over "oh my god! You need the ER now!", but I drove around Provo and Orem and found nothing.

 

[Deleted member 487]

I didn't go to my home for Christmas because I do not feel safe there. The cops are unresponsive. Not just me, there is another woman there that also has problems, and I have personally reported three times I saw persons unknown prowling around her home. And the cops do nothing.

 

[Deleted member 487]

#5 is in error. I reached out to Wasatch, Utah County, Utah Valley Medical, Central Utah, Four Corners, and even Uni, but not RAINN.

 

[saraemerald]

I didn't go to my home for Christmas because I do not feel safe there. The cops are unresponsive. N...

That's not normal. You need to go to the higher ups and report those cops. A higher court maybe?

 

[Deleted member 487]

I have complained it as far as I could. There is no higher.

 

[Fadeaway]

Utah Valley Medical advocates for electric shock therapy for depression so watch out for them. I was appalled by the brochure they gave me. They called it something else like cranialelectro stimulation but I don't see any difference.

I am so sorry, it sucks.

 

[Friday]

I'm curious what it is you want the police to do?

I ask because my home was broken into over 300 times over the course of 2.5 years. An average of 2-3 times a week. Sometimes more. Sometimes less. Most of the time they couldn't have spent more than 10 minutes in there. I'd be surprised if it took them even 5 minutes. It doesn't take long to trash someplace. Kick in a door, or break a window, smash up some stuff or snag some stuff to take with them, walk right back out. Even less time to bang on my windows and shout obscenities at me at 2am, or to spray paint psychobitch, c*nt, lying whore, etc. on my walls. Or to shove a dead animal in my mailbox, or leave one wrapped up like a present on my porch for me. Even if they'd done it all in broad daylight with 100 witnesses all phoning 911, they'd have been gone before the police arrived. Even with a super fast response time, much less if police were busy with violent crimes against people, motor vehicle accidents, etc. Mostly misdemeanor property damage? Petty harassment? Prowling? B&E? What on earth could they do in my case? Post 3 shifts of 2 teams to watch my house front and back 24/7? For how long? To what end result? Those kinds of man hours aren't even available for serious ongoing crimes affecting thousands of people & whole communities (guns&gangs, human trafficking, drugs, child molesters, etc.). Witness protection doesn't even involve watching someone in their own home, but moving them to a hotel or similar. If there's even a budget for that (most departments don't have that budget). Which is doubtful. Much less one suburban housewife whose stalker ex has an axe to grind.

Were the police concerned? Sure. There was a very predictable pattern of increasing violence as the assholes got braver. They were pretty afraid that one of these weeks instead of me dropping off my reports for the file, they'd be called out to a bloody mess of a crime scene. But there wasn't anything they could do about it, until after the crime had already been committed. They're not body guards, ya know? They're not private security. Those are very different jobs. Off-duty cops sometimes moonlight those jobs, but taxpayers / public funding doesn't pay police to do round the clock 24/7/365 personal protection details. Much less property protection.

Am I missing something?

 

[saraemerald]

Do you live in a city or town that has higher crimes rates than most? Maybe there is a problem with the way the mayor and the courts and the police force are handeling this in your area. Can you go to a nearby court and explain what's happening?
I just find this so unfair and sorry this is happening to you. You shouldn't have to deal with this. And don't let this discount yourself as a good human being. When we go through repeated trauma, it can make our mind and body react in ways we wish it wouldn't and also makes it hard to interact with others without debilitating anxiety, which is not our fault.
I hope you are able to straighten this out and make your life more livable. Hold your head up. =)