Pain Flashbacks?

[turtlemoon]

Looking for help understanding what is happening to me.

I definitely experience what one typically thinks of as a flashback, with visuals and being back in the moment. Fortunately, those tend to be brief. Not the emotional aspect, but the being their visually part.

I have also recently recognized that I suffer from emotional flashbacks as well. Those... can last a long time and are probably the worst of my symptoms.

But... I get a pain reaponse too. Sharp, intense physical pain. This triggers the emotional response which can trigger the visual response if it gets really bad.

Is this common? To flashback to just the physical pain of a trauma? It sure feels like pain. Often it is enough to bring me to my knees. I do not know what this is or what to do about it. I had an episode lasting over 30 minutes yesterday. I was stressed, and then mentioned my rape survivor workbook to my partner then instantly felt the physical pain of it all over again. For a bit, the fear, helplessness and shame of it took over emotionally. I recognized that, grounded down and then the pain switched to cervical pain... the same kind I felt recently at a horrible IUD attempt I discussed in another post. I had to go to the restroom and run my hand under water to try to anchor me back.

I feel as if I cannot trust my mind or body. I do not know how to tell if this pain is real or not. I have been tested twice in the last 6 months for STD's post assault, and had two exams in that region (after the assault and during the IUD and pap smear). The odds of there being anything physiologically wrong are slim.

Just not sure what to do. This sucks.

 

[Ronin]

I can't tell you the statistics on this but experience wise, yes, common.

& You feel it? Therefore it's real. And needing intervention & help so you're in less pain.

 

[MisterCatLady]

Yes it is very common. Sometimes we call them body memories or phantom touches. You are right to treat them the same as flashbacks. Use grounding and anything else that works for you. If you're in therapy, I have found talk therapy to help the most. It's not an immediate cure but helps me to process the emotions and physical feelings in a way that gives me more power and control over them.

 

[turtlemoon]

I really need to start journaling all these things. Maybe that will help too. Talking about these is hard. Especially due to were the pain is located. A lot of times intimate moments with my partner, even non sexual ones, trigger pain from sexual assault. Now, the IUD thing... which I feel like an utter ninny over, but the clinic did not do their job effectively and the result was a long and painful process that triggered me badly. I can't tell of the pain I feel there is "real" or not. I hate talking to my partner when it is triggered by us being all cozy together. Worry that they won't understand or that they will take it personally. Which is dumb, when I do eventually tell them (almost always after the fact), they are always understanding and supportive.

 

[MisterCatLady]

I really need to start journaling all these things. Maybe that will help too. Talking about these is...

That's fantastic that you have a supportive partner. It won't be like this forever. You're freshly triggered. It's going to be worse than usual for a period of time. I like the idea of journaling. Journaling helps me to look through and get an objective look at how I've been doing over time. When I'm depressed it feels like I always have been and always will be.

 

[Friday]

Yep.

What I've found makes it worse is if there's already some bad pain management on my part, &/or disassociation around pain, going on in my life. EG, if I have a cavity forming, or a cracked tooth, even if I can't feel anything wrong consciously, I am waaaaaaay likely to start having flashbacks (of any kind) to when I had my teeth broken.

Period cramping? Gas? Leaned awkwardly? Crink in my neck? Tends to bring on rape pain.

Taking Tylenol or stronger won't kill flashbacks. But managing my real pain symptoms, instead of sucking it up, can help tone shit down some or a lot. The more I listen to what my body is telling me? The LESS it starts throwing images/feelings/etc. at me of other times it's felt like this.

Conversely, the more I can USE that part of my body, in the here and now, regardless of whether it's real pain or remembered or relived pain, the more grounded IT becomes in the present. I almost never want to. I want to stop. Not use it. Not hurt more. But using it actually makes it hurt LESS. Because the nerves are like... Oh. Right. Nothing going on here! Nevermind! We're fine! False alarm! :P

It's sometimes very much a toss-up as to whether or not I'm dealing with real or relived pain. And I'm sure I look pretty silly sometimes, when I realize I'm gimping along half out of it, stop, shake myself & walk normally. But I'm very much a fan of empiracle testing. LMAO Or shake myself, attempt to walk normally & realize Nope! That's real! Whoops. Okay. Back to gimping we goooooo. Ouch. Step. Ouch. Step. Ouch. ;)

 

[turtlemoon]

Super helpful support everyone. Friday, thank you for sharing all that, it is very helpful. I think I will start taking tylenol or something sooner rather than later for pain management. Hell, may make it go away faster if its strictly psychosomatic anyways, and if it does that could help pinpoint whether the origins are physiological or psychosomatic. As for using parts of my body in the here and now, *ahem*. The location of all this makes that a bit difficult to do that in public, bwhahahaha. But I get you point.